In this paper, we determine the efficacy in maintaining text-lationships by replying ‘haha so true’ to friends memes
Tag Archives: Statistics
Would He Still Love Me as a Worm: Indirect Sampling and Inference Techniques for Romantic Assurance
In the 9th Chad and Tiffany paper, Tiffany determines if Chad would love her if she were a worm with statistical inference and weird behavior
A Re-examination of the Fermi Paradox: A Data and P(Doom) Driven Markov Process Approach
Lead UFO academic Hugh Mann analyzes intergalactic database to estimate how likely it is that extra terrestrial intelligence exists
Who’s a Good Boy? A Metropolis-Hastings Approach to Determining Foster Dog Names of Unknown Origin
Using the Metropolis-Hastings we attempt to determine my foster dog Barney’s pre-shelter name which doesn’t correspond with his real name
The No Regrets Waiting Model: A Multi-Armed Bandit Approach to Maximizing Tips
In this paper, the head waitress of Mama Lou’s Seafood Shack develops a Multi-Armed Bandit Approach to Maximizing Tips
Natural Log Exponential Log Growth Models in Hard Wood Nurseries
In this expert forestry paper, Wyatt ‘The Log Whisperer’ Johnson gives you 230-year-old wisdom in achieving exponential log growth!
Unlocking Human Behavior: A Feline Exploration of Vocalizations and Behavioral Variations for Optimal Wet Food Provision from the Servant Human Class
In this ground breaking paper, machine learning is used to determine the optimum chain of cat behaviors to procure wet food
Real-Time Naughty-Nice List Updating Procedure with Post-Modern Graph Based Morality Adjustments
In order to determine whether or not someone is Naughty or Nice, Santa Clause uses a post-modern ensemble model and Signal Detection Theory
A Quantitative Approach to Fostering Social Cohesion
We developed a standardized point count system to systematically collect attendance data at a weekly happy hour with a rotating location. We used these data to identify the key drivers of attendance across different attendee demographics.
Log-log-likelihood of Black Walnut in Random Forestry
Wyatt Johnson, an honest logger, uses a Maximum Log-Log Likelihood estimator to find the prized Black Walnut ‘Old Wilbur’ on his friend’s property