Leveraging Astrology to Optimize Behavioral Studies of Laboratory Mice

Guido T. MeijerAA) Institute of Divinatory Practices, Planet Earth The fields of biology and neuroscience depends for a large part on the training mice to perform certain tasks, such as escaping a maze. This practice is tedious and time consuming, especially when no unpaid interns are available to do the work for you. As inContinue reading “Leveraging Astrology to Optimize Behavioral Studies of Laboratory Mice”

Pink and Fire: Computational Fluid Dynamics Simulation Analysis of My Recent Gender Reveal Party Disaster

In this paper, a inadequate CFD simulation engine is revamped to analyze my disastrous Gender Reveal party to get an insurance payout

Hypnotism-Administered Placebo Treatment for Susceptible Populations Suffering from Existential Dread

In this paper, it is proven that hypnotism is a safe and effective means of administering placebos…assuming the patient is mentally stable

The Future of Romance: Novel Techniques for Replacing your Boyfriend with Generative AI

After months of being single, I need to replace some positive behaviors of my Ex. I don’t want to text him so Generative AI it is

9 Undebatable Scientific Reasons the Nazca Mummies aren’t Aliens

In this flawless science paper, Hugh Mann, who doesn’t wear a skin suit, details nine key arguments debunking the Nazca mummy aliens

Me and My Friend Found Where the Coolest Part in My Room is Using the Heat Equation Because it is REALLY REALLY HOT OUTSIDE!

In this ground breaking article, Jack and Aaron use partial derivatives and the heat equation to find the coldest part of their room!

Cave Fossil Evidence Suggest Homo Naledi Behavior Similar to Our 23-Year-Old Son Who Won’t Move Out

In these ground breaking findings, it is deduced that the ancient Homo Naledi ancient Hominin were as messy as your son who won’t get a job

Image Transfer Protocol Delivery Methods for sending Pocket Rocket Pictures to Tinder Matches

By adapting textbook networking data transfer protocols, a methodology is proposed to send pictures of my pocket rocket to my tinder matches