The new Intern Todd is too HAWT and is screwing up my LIDAR data because of his insane HOTness, we fixed that with a Wiener Filter!
Tag Archives: Parody
A Particle Physics Model of Why My Room is Never Clean and Why I Shouldn’t have to Clean it Up Everyday Like Mommy Tells Me To
Hello I am Jack Lee and I am in the 2nd Grade. I hate cleaning my room and think it’s particle physics fault and not mine! I like Legos.
Four People Hospitalised After Chemical Warfare Agent Found in Scented Candles
A simple mistake of chemical nomenclature has resulted in tragedy this week.
Ray Tracing and Optical Design of Healing Crystals based Adaptive Optics
Using a series of healing crystals suspended in a field of burnt sage smoke, we made an adaptive optics framework to truly see Jeffrey
Proof of Wankery: A Novel Consensus Model for the Blockchain
Proof of Work is killing the planet, Proof of Stake is a pyramid scheme, and other proposed consensus models are either easy to spoof or infeasible to implement. Herein, a new model is proposed: Proof of Wankery (PoWank).
Everything you need to know about NASA’s DART game
In this decades long game of DARTS, NASA makes the first shot tonight at the DART board drawn on the far off asteroid of Dimorphos
A Comprehensive Treatise on the Applications of de Broglie Wavelengths for Macroscopic Objects
This this revolutionary study, three friends determine how difficult it would be to diffract their friend Raina in a double slit experiment
Flavortown in the Brain: Localizing generators of hedonic food response in the forebrains of foodies
In this Landmark Study; fMRI results, bland oatmeal, and a cheese burger has successfully located the flavortown center of the brain
White Sands NP Prehistoric Footprints Push Back Arrival of Cha-Cha Slide into America 21,000 Years
By analyzing the prehistoric footprints found in White Sands NP, anthropologists push back the Cha-Cha Slide to 21,000 years ago!
Who Should do the Dishes? A Transportation Problem Solution
Dr. Chad Broman and Dr. Tiffany Love use linear programming on a intricate list of life constraints to determine who should do the dishes