Would He Still Love Me as a Worm: Indirect Sampling and Inference Techniques for Romantic Assurance

In the 9th Chad and Tiffany paper, Tiffany determines if Chad would love her if she were a worm with statistical inference and weird behavior

A Re-examination of the Fermi Paradox: A Data and P(Doom) Driven Markov Process Approach

Lead UFO academic Hugh Mann analyzes intergalactic database to estimate how likely it is that extra terrestrial intelligence exists

A Novel Method for the Safe and Effective Recycling of PFAS Plastics: A Black Hole Hawking Radiation Approach

By combining a blackhole, brave astronauts, a particle accelerator, and a fusion reactor this PFAS plastics can finally be recycled!

Solid-Phase Peptide Synthesis on a Mid-Century Modern Table Support

We have developed a novel strategy for solid-phase peptide synthesis that is both easier and greener than traditional methods, by replacing conventional polystyrene substrates with wooden tables.

Who’s a Good Boy? A Metropolis-Hastings Approach to Determining Foster Dog Names of Unknown Origin

Using the Metropolis-Hastings we attempt to determine my foster dog Barney’s pre-shelter name which doesn’t correspond with his real name

Where ‘Raygunn’ Went Wrong: Limitations of Theoretical Methods in Applied Breakdancing

In this paper, we critique her theoretical breakdancing methods and do a reality check with some hard hitting applied research

Yield Strength Comparative Load Bearing Analysis of the Limited Time Cheez-It Webbed Crunchwrap Supreme

In this paper, the traditional and Cheez-It webbed crunchwrap Supreme go toe to toe to determine which can hold the most weight