Yield Strength Comparative Load Bearing Analysis of the Limited Time Cheez-It Webbed Crunchwrap Supreme

Dr Queso Grande¹, Bender Bending Rodriguez², et al. 

¹Department of Tex-Mex Studies, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

²Bending Specialist that is in no way a robot

Abstract

Few structures are as important to our modern infrastructure than the Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supreme. In between it’s efficient cross-sectional sheer and bending load form, its large elastic region, vibrational robustness and the 360-degree crumple zone, no form is a more efficient building material or means to transport grade C ground beef and molten cheese. Since it’s invention, the Crunchwrap has become an integral piece in bridge construction, modern architecture and even enabled the space shuttle to safely re-enter earth’s atmosphere. After a partnership with Cheez-It, Taco Bell has begun replacing the traditional cylindrical fried tortilla center web with a jumbo-sized Cheez-It. While this advance may improve its culinary properties, many structural engineers are worried it may compromise the load bearing capacity and result in countless deaths if untested. In this paper we tested the normal and sheer load yield strength of the Cheez-It Center-Webbed Crunchwrap Supreme (C3S) and found that it is even stronger than ever before at the cost of a non-existent plasticity region.

Keywords:  Crunchwrap Supreme, Cheez-It, Hard Shell Ductility, 360-Degree Crumple Zone, Outer Wrapper Normal Pressures, Molten Cheese Glue, Fried Tortilla Center Web, Cheez, Sour Crème, Area Moment of Inertia, Food Structures 

If you would like to read the rest of this article, it is a chapter of our new book How to Prove Anything: 30 absurd research papers no one else was brave enough to publish which can be purchased here on amazon of from Packt directly

If you enjoyed this intensive structures analysis of the traditional and the Cheez-It Crunchwrap Supreme so that you may now confidently build a house out of it or whatever ya do in your free time, hey I don’t judge, please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our Facebook group here, or the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit for weekly content.

If you REEEEALY love the content, for the equivalent price of a Chipotle Burrito, chips and Queso, you could buy our new book Et Al with over 20 hand picked Jabde articles for your reading pleasure, it’s the perfect Christmas/Birthday gift for confusing your unsuspecting family members! Order on amazon here: https://packt.link/at4bw Please rate and review so that you can brag to your friends about having opinions or showcase your excellent taste in reading material!