Author Archives: B McGraw

Me and my friend show that my dad’s Airstream trailer goes faster with dints and that we shouldn’t be grounded for hitting it with a baseball last Saturday

In this paper I prove to my daddy that it’s actually a good thing that I put a lot of dents in the side of his Airstream by playing catch

Can you help DOGE find fraud in the antiquated COBOL system? A Coding-Bureaucratic Choose your Adventure

In this choose your own adventure, you get to attempt to help Elon and DOGE find fraud in the antiquated COBOL social security database

On the Providential Potential of Coal Gaseous Material: A Modest Proposal to Thaw the Northwest Passage

In this modest proposal, Lord Heatherton Bumwater discusses burning more coal to warm the globe and open the Northwest Passage

Novel Gravity and Velocity Based Time Dilation Methodology for Real Time Bitcoin Payment Processing

Using general relativity, this paper proposes and simulates the required blackhole or earth velocity to make blockchain work as a currency

Blimey Stone Deciphered? Bridging the Welsh, Scottish, and English Language to Translate Auld Lang Syne

Using the Blimey Stone as a guide this research paper completely fails in translating the song Auld Lang Syne into the king’s english

Efficient Methods of One-Night Global Toy Delivery II: A New Jersey Case Study in Drone Swarm Toy Delivery

In this paper, Santa Claus and his head R&D Elves design and analyze a new Drone Swarm Technology for global toy delivery

Animating Pop Culture: Visualizing Hans Gruber’s Iconic Fall from Die Hard as a Festive Tribute Using R and ggplot2

In this paper, we visualize Die Hard’s iconic climax in python and also prove it is a Christmas movie like we always knew