The Bark Defense: A 99.999% Successful Method for Keeping Emily Safe from Strangers and Garbage Trucks

Using a fool proof Barking method, this paper shows how I am able to scare away nearly 100% of threats from my owner Emily

One Rocket to Rule Them All: An Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Ring of Power Delivery Feasibility Study

In this paper we analyze the feasibility of using an ICBM to deliver the ring of power from Rivendell to Mt Doom

Reappraisal of the Geologic Time Scale: Evidence for a 6,001-year-old Earth

By analyzing upwards of several fossils this paper dates the earth to exactly 6,001 years old. No more. No less.

De Trinitate Sancta ut Varietate Topologica Trium Dimensionum: On the Holy Trinity as a 3-Dimensional Topological Manifold

Hey der, in dis paper, me Pope Leo XIV show the Trinity as Topologically Sound in da form of a 3-Manifold 3-Sphere

Beyond Blue Zone Diet and Exercise: The Hidden Influence of Ritualistic Animal Sacrifice to 𒀭𒀫𒌓

After accounting for pension fraud, the true cause of the worlds blue zones point to the miraculous healing powers of sacrificing to Marduk

Testicular Cancer Truck Nut Self-Examination for North American Pick-up’s: A Cost-Benefit Analysis

In this paper we discuss the benefits and methods of self screening your truck nuts for cancer on a 6 month basis