The Structural Determination, Total Synthesis and Endochronicity of Thiotimoline

The natural product thiotimoline was isolated from the bark of Rosaceae Karlsbadensis rufo and its structure was unambiguously determined by time-resolved X-ray crystallomancy and spectroscopy. A total synthesis of thiotimoline was conducted following a convergent strategy. The pivotal transformations in this synthesis were a tandem Suzuki-Miyaura/Schinkenfaust radical cross-spifflication, a Szymankowszczyzna allylic inquisition and a [3+2+3+2] Puccini-Gershwin echocyclisation in A♭ major. An unnatural isomer of thiotimoline was also synthesised, and a theory of kairality and chronomers is presented and discussed.

Ellipsoidal Palm-line Convolutional Chaotic Filter with Training from Several Palms allows Remote and Discreet Prediction of Target’s Future

Using Future Derivative Vectors an ML algorithm is trained to predict your future based on your palm lines

A Quantitative (N=4) Study of Postpubescent Male Cognitive Activity in Heterosexual Modern Dating

In this landmark study, Scientist Ramisa Fariha studies the existence of brain activity in four boys when interacting with girls

Optical Turbulence Characterization and Wiener Filtering of Hot New Intern Induced Temperature Gradients

The new Intern Todd is too HAWT and is screwing up my LIDAR data because of his insane HOTness, we fixed that with a Wiener Filter!