12 Absolutely Annoying Comments from Reviewer #2 I 👏Get👏Literally👏All👏The👏 Time! Like Chill 🥶

We’ve all been there 💁‍♂️, you’re getting PRESSURED😣 to publish📗 something and you just wana get that 🧬research🔬 out into the world🌍. You’re trying🫡 to meet some ARBITRARY ☠️deadline〰 and yup, you guessed it❓, you have to deal🃏 with some annoying unnecessary comments🤬 from some ideologue😈. Yup, that’s right, it’s reviewer #2😈 just showing off and power🔌 tripping💉 over some comma😴 or something. Here are some of the ABSOLUTELY WORST comments I’ve 👁seen👀 recently from this annoying review process!

1. “Be more Professional!”

What does it even mean😭 TO BE 👨🏻‍💼PROFESSIONAL👩🏼‍💼? I feel like the people😈 that make this comment 💁‍♂️literally💁‍♂️ just want to say 🗣something🗣 but don’t have anything of 🍷substance🥖 to say! Who wrote the rule 📚book📖 to say I can’t talk in the first and second person? That’s just 🐮BS💩 and you know it!

2. “I don’t know what this word means”

Like get an F🤬n dictionary 😆lol🤣. If you can’t 📈figure out what a word means through context or by 🔎looking 🕵🏻‍♀️it up🔍, maybe you shouldn’t be 🤨reviewing papers🤨! If it’s just a 🥰cute🥰 way to tell me that I’m using a 🈲word🈳 wrong or 💋making up💄 words, why don’t you just 🤨tell me and not 💃dance around the 📰issue🗞!!

3. “Don’t Write So Politically this is a respected Journal”

It’s the 🤖21st century🚀, how could I NOT be 🏛political🗳 over my ✍️writing✍️!?! If you don’t want me to 🥊fight🤼 the system through 🧑‍🔬science, then I think you’re definitely part of the problem💁‍♂️. Like what’s it like being a massive💪 sell🧑🏻‍💼 out?

4. “Please Be Relevant”

Okay😤, if I HAVE to 👏give my 👶life👵 story📕 to explain why my 📝study is so important❣️ I’m going to give my 👶life👵 story📕❣️ OKAY❣️ If you don’t want to hear about why this 📝STUDY is so 🔑important🔑 to me, maybe you shouldn’t be a 💁‍♂️reviewer💁‍♂️ and get into a 💔heartless💔 profession like I don’t know,🕴Insurance? F🤬 insurance, just grow a ❤️heart and 👂listen to my story!

5. “Your Math is Wrong”

How can 🧮math be wrong🤔? It’s MATH🔢! It can’t be WRONG. At least if you’re going to SAY that my ✖️math➕ is wrong why don’t you be more 🙋🏽‍♀️specific about it and provide the 🤨correct ➗math♾? Huh🤔? Maybe it isn’t that it’s wrong🧐, maybe it’s that it’s too 🤷‍♂️complicated for your 🐁puny little brain🧠 to understand and you feel 🫣inferior to my 🦸‍♀️superior intellect🧠! Yeah, thought so…

6. “Don’t Use this Journal in your References”

🌎Wikipedia🌎 is one of the most 🏋️‍♀️widely 😋trusted sources of ℹ️nformation on the internet👩🏻‍💻. There is an 👯‍♀️ENTIRE 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨COMMUNITY👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 behind🍑 it! Like I don’t know how many people look at the papers📄 on the Annals🍑 of Whateverology you think is so 🏔HIGH and 💪MIGHTY, but not nearly as many as there are on 🌎WIKIPEDIA🌎! You can’t be so 👩‍⚖️JUDGY👨‍⚖️ about this stuff! I don’t need that 🤑PRETENTIOUS attitude🤑 saying 🦉WHO🦉 I should and shouldn’t trust!

7. “Stop Using ChatGPT”

Okay 👵BOOMER👴. If you’re not using 🤖ChatGPT🤖 to ✍️write your 📰articles for you😬, you’re like two years🍾 away from becoming completely irrelevant💁‍♂️! At this rate🚞, you’re ⏳six months⏰ away from becoming 😒irrelevant😒…that 📲technology 🐈cat is ⤴️out of the 🎒bag! Learn to live with it or get out of the way💁‍♂️!

8. “Please Define this Acronym”

Okay, everyone knows what WAP🌊🍑🙀 means. I don’t think🤔 I should have to SPELL-IT-OUT for this 😎guy😎. If I have to define EVERY single little🐭 acronym, we’re just gonna be here all 🌚night! When I 👀SEE👀 an “I don’t know what this word means” comment, do I 🙃need🧐 to SPELL🔠 it out 4 U? G-O-O-G-L-E-.-C-O-M-/-s-e-a-r-c-h-?-q-=-W-A-P Maybe🧐 that’ll help🥴 you out before you go on 🗑wasting everyone’s ⌚️time!

9 “Stop Stealing Lab Equipment”

What’s the 🤺point⚔️ of letting me 👩🏻‍💻WORK in the 🔬lab🧫 if you’re NOT going to let💁‍♂️ me use the 🛻equipment. It wasn’t doing ANYTHING in those 🗄drawers🗄! I can’t 🥺ask 🙏permission to do EVERY-SINGLE-THING I do in there! ALSO💁‍♂️, even IF I stole🥷 that 🔬lab🧫 equipment and I mean IF, would that make my 🔭science any less valid🤨? NO, you just wana be an annoying little ⛔️road⛔️block⛔️ Mr. Reviewer😈, gate🌉 keeping all us young 🧑‍🔬scientists!

10. “I don’t know what Metric this is”

To MY 🤩AUDIENCE🤩 it should be COMPLETELY 🙄 OBVIOUS what metrics I’m using🙄. I believe if you REVIEW🙇‍♂️ a paper📄, you should be in the community😀🥹! You should 👩‍🎓know👩‍🎓 what things are 👈here👈 and there👈. Everyone KNOOWS what the 📷sensor📡 A-B readings are from a VB300, TRUST ME on that one!

11. “Do a better Lit Review”

Not ONLY is this COMPLETELY insulting😤, but it’s also ENTIRELY 😖unhelpful😖. LIKE if you’re 🚎GOING🚎 to tell🤐 me to 🐄beef🥩 up my references, WHY don’t 🫠YOU suggest some 🧻papers. AND 2️⃣EVEN4️⃣ WHEN🕘 they suggest papers🤨, that’s right➡️, it’s the 😈REVIEWER’s😈 OWN papers! TOTALLY self💁‍♂️ dealing♣️ culture🧫 right there! BESIDES! How on earth🌏 could you have any NEW 🧪science if it needs an 🎓academic background. That’s LITERALLY 😔impossible😔 to have a reference on ANYTHING NEW think about that!

12. “Two pages is short of our five page minimum”

Brevity is 🤴

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

One thought on “12 Absolutely Annoying Comments from Reviewer #2 I 👏Get👏Literally👏All👏The👏 Time! Like Chill 🥶

  1. I was once told by a reviewer to “tone down the profanity”. The original title was “Diachronic Analysis of Obscenity: A Quantitative and Qualitative Examination of Profanity Utilization Patterns in Fifteenth Century French Discourse”.

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