Dr. Edgart Notting1
1 Department of Information Technology, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
Abstract
I always thought I wasn’t a weird guy, I’ve never had issues with women in real life, and my mom says I’m very handsome; but every time I try to send pictures of my pocket rocket to women on Tinder, something gets lost in the delivery method and I never hear from them again. I know motor sport is a dangerous hobby, but many of these women’s profiles make it seem like they’d like the danger and the excitement of motoring around on a tiny motorcycle. I believe that there’s some issue with the way that I am delivering these pocket rocket images to these Tinder matches. They could get lost in the network, the data could get scrambled up, or maybe it’s all just received incorrectly. Fortunately, plenty of work has been done in the networking field and plenty of protocols already exist for sending these pictures. In this paper, I will adapt the Universal Data Protocol (UDP), Transfer Control Protocol (TCP), Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP), and a Secure Socket Layer (SSL) to find the optimum way to send pocket rocket pictures to my Tinder matches and ensure that they arrive at the correct recipient.
Keywords: Pocket Rockets, Networking, Online Dating, Universal Data Protocol, http://www.EdgartsPocketRocket.com, Transfer Control Protocol, Hobbies, Motorsports, Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP), Tinder, Secure Socket Layer (SSL), Riding on my Pocket Rocket, Cyber Security, Texting Game Theory
1. Introduction
I’m pretty new to the online dating scene these days, I haven’t been single since high school and the environment has changed a lot according to a preliminary lit review [1-3]. Back when I found my Ex Sarah fifteen years ago, we didn’t have the apps and most women thought pocket rockets were cool [4]! Sarah even rode my pocket rockets just about anywhere, at the track, around town, in the neighborhood, even through the woods on a nature trail. It was so private we had the whole place to ourselves. We could just zip around wherever we wanted. Now it seems to be like I’m telling people I live with my parents. I don’t, they live with me!
It’s been a few years and I’m just now feeling comfortable getting back into the dating scene. Now I’m trying to find my new soul mate and the ladies these days either seem disgusted by my hobby or are just not technologically savvy enough to properly receive a .png. I know many people think motor sports may come off a little white trash with anything gas run being bad for the environment and all, but these little pocket rockets will just kick around for hours just on a gallon of gas. Nobody’s too good to enjoy riding around on these babies. Nothing feels better than that feeling of a roaring humming pocket rocket between their legs on a mild spring day at the track. I’m not bad looking and I have a good job, so I don’t have trouble getting matches, but as soon as I ask these women if they’d like a picture of my pocket rocket, I just get unmatched or never hear from them again. Dating has really changed a lot in the last 15 years. I could just never bring it up, but I have about a dozen pocket rockets in my garage, it’s kind of part of who I am!
2. Image Transfer Protocols
In order to ensure that my pocket rocket images successfully get to my tinder matches, I’ll use four different existing protocols. UDP [5], TCP [6], HTTP [7], and SSL [8] (Secure HTTP). As I am not sure if there is an issue in data arrival [9], a cybersecurity risk [10], or even a time out issue [11] I will need to test it all. One of these network protocols will create an efficient and reliable Pocket Rocket Image Controlled Communication (PRICC) which I can use with my matches to inform them of my apparently strange hobby.
2.1 Universal Data Protocol (UDP)
Universal Data Protocol (UDP) [5] is easily the simplest protocol to implement. The tinder match will simply request an image of my Pocket Rocket by asking something like “What do you do for fun?” or “Tell me about yourself” or “What do you do in your free time” and I’ll just send the same pocket rocket pictures until one is received. Compared to the other methods, this protocol is generally the fastest so the lady in waiting won’t think I’m ghosting them or uninterested. The protocol is shown in the figure below.
The primary advantage, other than speed, is that a UDP based PRICC may be broadcast or multicast out to my matches. As I get new images of my amazing collection of mini motorcycles, I can update all my matches at the same time in an efficient manor without needing to complete a long handshake process for each image transfer.
2.2 Transfer Control Protocol (TCP)
The next method adapted will be TCP [6], the backbone of the internet. While TCP is much slower than UDP, it is a much more reliable method. While UDP just broadcasts out data, TCP will establish a connection between a client and a server through a three-handshake protocol. First an initial Synchronization (SYN) is sent between myself and my tinder match. This can be done by simply asking if they’d like a picture of me and my pocket rocket. Next, a Synchronization and Acknowledgement (ACK) message is sent from my tinder match back saying, “Sure, I’d love to see your pocket rocket!” or “Oh I love motorsports, all the other guys on this app are so lame and just into beer, travelling or video games, you must be so cool and interesting.” Rescuing the young ladies of Tinder from all their boring matches they may be dealing with. I can then send the image of the pocket rocket with my own ACK message. The process is shown in the figure below.
Though I would not be able to broadcast out a wildly large amount of images on a TCP based PRICC compared to a UDP method, I would be able to ensure data delivery. Additionally, I’ll be able to delay message sending during times of congested traffic. Some of my tinder matches may be dealing with many other tinder matches other than myself asking if they can send their own images or sending generic “How has your day been?” texts. If I don’t flow control my images, it may be lost in their congested inbox to never be received. Additionally, a time out may be implemented to resend the images in the eventuality that I never hear back from my matches [11].
2.3 Hyper Text Transfer Protocol (HTTP)
By setting up my own image hosting website at http://www.EdgartsPocketRocket.com, I can send an appropriate link address to my match so that they can use HTTP [7] to access my Pocket Rocket images. As shown in the figure below, by opening the link in a web browser, my tinder match will receive an IP address from a Domain Name Server (DNS) and then send a GET command to my website server’s correct IP address. From there, the server will respond with the appropriate requested image using a POST command.
This PRICC method will additionally use TCP but in the back end and not involving cumbersome messages over any dating apps so communication will be reliable with any standard web browser on my dates side. Though this method will allow me to reliably send messages through a simple text of web link, I do have to convince them to click on the link which can cause some hesitation from some matches. I promise them that I don’t even use any cookies on my website. Additionally, the link is straight forward as I have my own website domain accurately describing the contents of the page.
2.4 Secure Sockets Layer (SSL)
In the eventuality that my tinder matches do not feel comfortable clicking a potentially unsecure link, I have also hosted my website on a secure http (https) server using an SSL layer. For instance, without this layer, my date would see a ‘Not Secure’ in their browser which may prevent the transfer of my pocket rocket images. With an SSL to encrypt the data transfer from my image server to my tinder matches web browser, they will know that no one will be able to see any of the web traffic they are viewing as it will all get scrambled through an encrypted SSL channel. I personally don’t mind if my pocket rocket pictures get out there and into the public, they are nothing to be ashamed of. That doesn’t mean that my potential matches care about their own cyber security. As I mentioned, I guess some women are just weired out by receiving these pictures from me and may not want their friends knowing.3. ResultsNone of the methods worked well. Each of the response of my tinder matches using each protocol were categorized appropriately. The results can be shown in table 1 as a percentage of which tinder response category [12] it fit in.
| UDP | TCP | HTTP | SSL | |
| No Response | 79% | 30% | 15% | 18% |
| Ewww | 4% | 17% | 16% | 15% |
| I’m not opening that | 0% | 0% | 40% | 35% |
| I’m not that type of girl | 2% | 12 | 3% | 4% |
| That’s not what I was expecting | 1% | 18% | 9% | 12% |
| You are what’s wrong with men today | 7% | 13% | 12% | 10% |
| Spam | 3% | 3% | 3% | 3% |
| Cool Story Bro | 4% | 7% | 2% | 3% |
UDP resulted in the most amount of no responses. While the straight TCP protocol had a fairly even performance across the categories, much of the three-way handshake protocol ended in an Ewww type response or a That’s not what I was expecting, to which there was no response when we inquired what they were expecting. Though the responses were similarly spread in the web link methods of HTTP and the more secure HTTPS/SSL PRICC method of image delivery, a plurality of the responses were in the I’m not opening that category. Though the additional ‘s’ for secure in the hyperlink dropped that response by 5%, it is advised to use a secure HTTP method if so desired.
4. Discussion
Because none of the interactions with my Tinder matches resulted in a common interest of riding pocket rockets or collecting mini motorcycles, it is impossible to tell which method was closest. Even at the low rate of Cool Story Bro type responses I received indicating that the message may have gotten through, it was hard to tell if my hobby was a deal breaker. Because of the vague responses I have received, some further inquiries and possibly a double-blind study using some of my friends’ inputs may be required. Though all of my friends also ride and collect pocket rockets, the data of that study may be biased. It’s so strange that my Tinder matches would be so resistant to the hobby of riding and collecting pocket rockets, it’s hard to comprehend for me. If some woman asked to share an image of their pocket rocket with me on Tinder I’d be like, ‘Oh Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about’. But where are they? Where are my girls with pocket rockets?
It is concerning that I received such a large amount of That’s not what I was expecting responses. It begs the question; what were they expecting? Is Pocket Rocket some euphemism for some Zoomer slang I don’t know about yet? Who’s to say? Perhaps the data transfer got jumbled and a better encoding scheme is required.
An overall analysis of the responses does suggest that the verbal, over the app handshake protocol may be the best. An extremely large amount of transmission must have been lost by using a suspect link with the web domain-based methods and the UDP method of spamming pictures of my pocket rocket. It should be noted that the ending messages such as the definitive Ewww or the You are what’s wrong with men today of the TCP method were received by my matches well before the end of the three-way handshake protocol before I could even send the image. Perhaps there is some etiquette or existing TCP like procedure on this app that I may be unaware of and should implement for further research.
5. Conclusion
Dating has really changed since I was in high school. Everyone has some coded language, and what used to be cool seems to be not just lame but disgusting according to some of my responses. Not only that, but spamming pictures of motorcycles doesn’t also seem to be cool anymore. All I know is if it’s this big of a deal to be into pocket rockets that women online will stop talking to me; I don’t want to spring it on them on a first date. I should find an appropriate way to share my hobby earlier rather than later, so that we don’t waste each other’s time! It’s who I am!
References
- Dr. Love M.D. PhD, 2021 18 Things you should Know Before You Get Into Online Dating :: Journal of Amorous Adventures
- Gurplekrieg, Kelly 2022 A Comparative Analysis of WHY THERE ARE NO GOOD MEN LEFT! Dating is OVER! :: Annals of Okay Doomer
- Juleper, Karl 2022 Get Yourself an Iquana: and Other Successful Tips for 21st Century Dating :: Proceedings of the Royal Society for Unsolicited Life Advice
- Edgart Notting 2005 Pocket Rocket Motorcycles Are In And Are Going To Help Me Find My Future Wife :: 9th Grade English Report (C+)
- Realburger, Jethro 2021 A Spam Approach to Tinder Messaging: A UDP Inspired Message Protocol :: Journal of Dating Methodology of the Desperate
- Uhmbrelatrophia, Keith 2022 How to Structure a Good Opener on a Dating App: TCP isn’t Just for Networking Anymore :: Annals of Overthinking It
- Kerbert, J 2020 Set Up a Website for Your Sexy Photo Openers :: Journal of Tom Cats Unleashed
- Kerbert, J 2021 Secure your Website for Your Sexy Photo Openers: How to Avoid Getting Cut Off From Your Parents :: Journal of Tom Cats Unleashed
- Edgart Notting 2022 A Preliminary Analysis of My Tinder Messaging: Why Won’t Anyone Talk To Me :: Annals of Getting Back Out There
- Edgart Notting 2023 Nobody Online Trusts Me: Make Sure You Don’t Come Off Like a Scammer Online :: Annals of Getting Back Out There
- Edgart Notting 2023 Adventures in Getting Ghosted: How to Get Past the 10th Message on Online Dating :: Annals of Getting Back Out There
- Rob ‘The Champ’ Yerthwella 2021 An Cluster Analysis of My Tinder Responses :: Journal of Unsupervised Machine Learning Applications that Need a Babysitter
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