By analyzing upwards of several fossils this paper dates the earth to exactly 6,001 years old. No more. No less.
Tag Archives: Satire
The Thermodynamics of Silence: Why Quiet People Emit a Cold Aura
This paper investigates a physically unverified yet socially undeniable phenomenon: that talkative people tend to make rooms warmer and introverts emit a detectable “cold aura”.
De Trinitate Sancta ut Varietate Topologica Trium Dimensionum: On the Holy Trinity as a 3-Dimensional Topological Manifold
Hey der, in dis paper, me Pope Leo XIV show the Trinity as Topologically Sound in da form of a 3-Manifold 3-Sphere
Toward Slower, Less Accurate, More Expensive, and Worse Density Functional Theory: A Natural-Stupidity-Assisted Method for Quantum Simulation
In this work, we present Natural Stupidity (NS) as a pioneering anti-optimization framework for Density Functional Theory (DFT) calculations.
Proof: 9 +10n Will Almost Always be Afraid of 10+10n
In this mathematical proof, we will prove that 9+10n will almost always be afraid of 10+10n for n>1 and n%10!=0
Beyond Blue Zone Diet and Exercise: The Hidden Influence of Ritualistic Animal Sacrifice to 𒀭𒀫𒌓
After accounting for pension fraud, the true cause of the worlds blue zones point to the miraculous healing powers of sacrificing to Marduk
Geological Stratigraphy and Tectonics of Leftover Food in Laboratory Refrigerators: A Comprehensive Study
This paper examines the often-overlooked geological structure of leftover food and drink found in laboratory refrigerators.
Testicular Cancer Truck Nut Self-Examination for North American Pick-up’s: A Cost-Benefit Analysis
In this paper we discuss the benefits and methods of self screening your truck nuts for cancer on a 6 month basis
You Twist Me Right Round Baby: The Total Synthesis of Mobiustrine A
We report the total synthesis of the supernatural product mobiustrine A, starting from isoheptane. The key steps in our synthesis were a [2+2]+[2+2] cycloaddition, a Bonnie-Clyde cross-conjugal visitation, an enzymatic epoxide unzipping, and a Morbin rearrangement.
J. Immat. Sci. Volume 4
The online version of the 4th volume of The Journal of Immaterial Science.