In this groundbreaking research, we determine the optimum amount of time to show up late to a meeting by arbitrarily assigning numbers to things
Tag Archives: Satire
No more flux to give: six things to do with a decommissioned NMR
How to repurpose an old instrument.
Optical Turbulence Characterization and Wiener Filtering of Hot New Intern Induced Temperature Gradients
The new Intern Todd is too HAWT and is screwing up my LIDAR data because of his insane HOTness, we fixed that with a Wiener Filter!
A Particle Physics Model of Why My Room is Never Clean and Why I Shouldn’t have to Clean it Up Everyday Like Mommy Tells Me To
Hello I am Jack Lee and I am in the 2nd Grade. I hate cleaning my room and think it’s particle physics fault and not mine! I like Legos.
Four People Hospitalised After Chemical Warfare Agent Found in Scented Candles
A simple mistake of chemical nomenclature has resulted in tragedy this week.
Freudian Psychoanalysis of my Boyfriend’s Gun Collection
Using archaic Freudian Psychoanalysis, Tiffany analyzes her boyfriend Chad to determine why he keeps buying guns
After over a decade of investigation the FBI has finally apprehended the single man responsible for all garbage JS Frameworks!
Efficient Methods of One-Night Global Toy Delivery
In this paper, we review the latest and greatest technologies implemented by Santa Clause to deliver toys on Christmas Eve
HADES (High-end, Advanced, Data-driven, Enterprise-grade Sock sorting) – An algorithm for faster sock sorting
Sorting socks can often be a time-consuming task. This paper introduces the fastest method known in the scientific community to tackle this challenging task.
Local Crypto-Bro reportedly Rebounding with Generative AI: only three weeks after FTX crash!
A now Ex-Crypto-Bro is moving on from his obsession with Crypto currency to generative AI some would say too soon even for a rebound