Causal Links of Going Cuckoo and Cocoa Puffs Consumption in Children and Birds of Prey

By experimenting on a flock of trained falcons, RFK Jr. causally links eating Cocoa Puffs and going absolutely Cuckoo

Radioactive Heavy Metal Concentration in Blood Stream Linked to Control of Quantum Echoentangled Non-Newtonian Fluids

In this paper, we establish a positive correlation between heavy metal and radioactive blood to echoentanglement of non-newtonian fluids

Beyond Blue Zone Diet and Exercise: The Hidden Influence of Ritualistic Animal Sacrifice to 𒀭𒀫𒌓

After accounting for pension fraud, the true cause of the worlds blue zones point to the miraculous healing powers of sacrificing to Marduk

Testicular Cancer Truck Nut Self-Examination for North American Pick-up’s: A Cost-Benefit Analysis

In this paper we discuss the benefits and methods of self screening your truck nuts for cancer on a 6 month basis

Serving as the POTUS as a Non-Medical Intervention for Preventing Cognitive Decline in the Elderly (N=2)

In this study we determine whether being POTUS is an effective method for preventing cognitive decline in the elderly

Health Effects of Non-Hotboxing Vaping in Rat Populations of Human-Realistic Social Conditions

Using a human realistic vapes and social conditions, this study answers the ever growing question “Is Vaping Bad for you?” The answer…Maybe

Hypnotism-Administered Placebo Treatment for Susceptible Populations Suffering from Existential Dread

In this paper, it is proven that hypnotism is a safe and effective means of administering placebos…assuming the patient is mentally stable

9 Undebatable Scientific Reasons the Nazca Mummies aren’t Aliens

In this flawless science paper, Hugh Mann, who doesn’t wear a skin suit, details nine key arguments debunking the Nazca mummy aliens

Flavortown in the Brain: Localizing generators of hedonic food response in the forebrains of foodies

In this Landmark Study; fMRI results, bland oatmeal, and a cheese burger has successfully located the flavortown center of the brain