Cranberry-Lemon mathematics grad student Jane Simmons is a proud mother of a brand new graph. Despite her doctor and advisor’s due date of six months ago, it took Jane 9 months of labor and gestation to birth the new graph.
Category Archives: Articles
Ecological Impacts of Re-releasing Tourists into Yellowstone
This study has shown that reintroducing tourists into the fragile North American environment has caused a domino effect which will cause the eruption of the Yellowstone super volcano and end the Age of America.
Surprised Scientists Discover Life Under Illinois Bachelors Couch
Scientists have discovered flourishing life underneath an Illinois Bachelors couch. This discovery has baffled most experts as this couch hasn’t been moved in years and these creatures have been thriving and surviving on zero sunlight. There is still on going analysis as the scientists who made the discovery still don’t have any idea what theyContinue reading “Surprised Scientists Discover Life Under Illinois Bachelors Couch”
Cultural Discoveries from Ancient Assyrian Gilgamesh FanFiction
In a newly discovered library of Ancient Assyrian texts we find a many different Gilgamesh FanFictions for an Assyrian audience.
GME Galactic Federation Land Grab Foiled by Online Degenerates
The Galactic Federation is land grabbing retail stores through hedge funds to spread 5G across the world.
Quantum Computing Applications in Competitive StarCraft
We created, developed, and tested a Quantum Computer specifically designed for a professional StarCraft 2 Zerg player. It was nearly unbeatable in online play.
Using GPT-2 To Optimize Twitter Bots for Maximum Virtue Signaling
In this paper, we developed a twitter bot using GPT-2 to optimize virtue signaling for a progressive target demographic.
Adaptive Smart Grids for Migratory Government Drones
The proliferation of cheaply produced surveillance micro UAVs fueled by low voltage power lines and a loose interpretation of the fourth amendment has devastated America’s electric grid. This paper aims to develop a framework for creating a smart grid capable of gracefully handling unpredictable loads caused by migratory government drones.
8 Surprising Real Dinosaur Sounds
Have you ever wondered what dinosaurs sounded like? Here are 8 totally real not made up Dinosaur sounds from our top scientists
Tracking International Terrorism with Mycorrhizal Networks
Common Mycorrhizal Networks are being used to spread radical religious ideology. This paper shows how we tracked it and decoded the tree language.