A Quantitative (N=4) Study of Postpubescent Male Cognitive Activity in Heterosexual Modern Dating

In this landmark study, Scientist Ramisa Fariha studies the existence of brain activity in four boys when interacting with girls

Optical Turbulence Characterization and Wiener Filtering of Hot New Intern Induced Temperature Gradients

The new Intern Todd is too HAWT and is screwing up my LIDAR data because of his insane HOTness, we fixed that with a Wiener Filter!

A Particle Physics Model of Why My Room is Never Clean and Why I Shouldn’t have to Clean it Up Everyday Like Mommy Tells Me To

Hello I am Jack Lee and I am in the 2nd Grade. I hate cleaning my room and think it’s particle physics fault and not mine! I like Legos.

Using Quartz Crystal Macrobalance to Predict Undergraduate Grades

G. Acidic-Puree1 and J. Mann2 Abstract: We are fucking over undergrads so we’ve got more time to drink expensive beer. 1. Introduction Marking exam papers is hard work. Especially when one’s boss insists on a failure rate of no less than 70 %, because “only the hard may enter the garden” (old German saying, translated).Continue reading “Using Quartz Crystal Macrobalance to Predict Undergraduate Grades”

8 Sexually Graphic Violin Plots banned in Texan Textbooks and Journals for being too Suggestive

These violin plots look a little too like a certain body part for Texans to be comfortable showing them to their kids

Efficient Methods of One-Night Global Toy Delivery

In this paper, we review the latest and greatest technologies implemented by Santa Clause to deliver toys on Christmas Eve