The Coldplay Uncertainty Principle: A Kiss Cam Collapse of the Quantum Relationship Function

In this paper we measure how many couples are in love by collapsing their quantum relationship formula with a stadium kiss cam

The Bark Defense: A 99.999% Successful Method for Keeping Emily Safe from Strangers and Garbage Trucks

Using a fool proof Barking method, this paper shows how I am able to scare away nearly 100% of threats from my owner Emily