Ecological Impacts of Re-releasing Tourists into Yellowstone

This study has shown that reintroducing tourists into the fragile North American environment has caused a domino effect which will cause the eruption of the Yellowstone super volcano and end the Age of America.

Adaptive Smart Grids for Migratory Government Drones

The proliferation of cheaply produced surveillance micro UAVs fueled by low voltage power lines and a loose interpretation of the fourth amendment has devastated America’s electric grid. This paper aims to develop a framework for creating a smart grid capable of gracefully handling unpredictable loads caused by migratory government drones.

Tracking International Terrorism with Mycorrhizal Networks

Common Mycorrhizal Networks are being used to spread radical religious ideology. This paper shows how we tracked it and decoded the tree language.

Novel Techniques for Hijacking Self-Driving Cars

This paper outlines methods to hijack and trap self driving cars by exploiting their safety sensors and Cheetah brain algorithm.

There Can be No True Scottish Speech Recognition System

A speech recognition system is designed to interface with the Scottish. The design fails because the accent appears to be mathematically non-convergent.