Tracking International Terrorism with Mycorrhizal Networks

Betty Reynolds1, and Agent F2

1 Department of Tree Sociology, Cramberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

2 Department of REDACTED, REDACTED University, Chantilly VA, United States.


It has been well established that trees talk to each other through underground chains of fungus called Common Mycorrhizal Networks (CMM). Affectionately called the Wood Wide Web, these networks allow for networks of trees to locally communicate and organize the transfer of water, carbon, nitrogen, local gossip and political pamphlets. Previous research suggested that these fungal networks only operated at a community level. Nutrient transfer back translation has shown this assumption is no longer valid in certain abnormal communities. In the woods of Germany, England, Wyoming, and many more locations, ISIS terrorist propaganda has been discovered in a handful of Douglas Fir communities and a growing prevalence has been seen in Birch populations. This paper will discuss the methodology, results and dangerous consequences of Islamic Radicalized tree communities in your backyard and how the terrorist organization has spread their radical message to the world’s forests.  

Keywords: Mycorrhizal Networks, Tryte Packet Communication, Language, Wood Wide Web, Flora-Political-Biosphere, Deciduous Sociology

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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