In this groundbreaking research, we determine the optimum amount of time to show up late to a meeting by arbitrarily assigning numbers to things
Tag Archives: Research
A Quantitative (N=4) Study of Postpubescent Male Cognitive Activity in Heterosexual Modern Dating
In this landmark study, Scientist Ramisa Fariha studies the existence of brain activity in four boys when interacting with girls
Optical Turbulence Characterization and Wiener Filtering of Hot New Intern Induced Temperature Gradients
The new Intern Todd is too HAWT and is screwing up my LIDAR data because of his insane HOTness, we fixed that with a Wiener Filter!
Freudian Psychoanalysis of my Boyfriend’s Gun Collection
Using archaic Freudian Psychoanalysis, Tiffany analyzes her boyfriend Chad to determine why he keeps buying guns
8 Sexually Graphic Violin Plots banned in Texan Textbooks and Journals for being too Suggestive
These violin plots look a little too like a certain body part for Texans to be comfortable showing them to their kids
Efficient Methods of One-Night Global Toy Delivery
In this paper, we review the latest and greatest technologies implemented by Santa Clause to deliver toys on Christmas Eve
Can you explain your grad school research to relatives over Thanksgiving Dinner?
You are going home for Thanksgiving and your family wants you to explain what you’re studying through this Choose Your Own Adventure
Full Cycle Banana Fission Reactor Design and Analysis
This revolutionary study designs a clean and sustainable source of energy using the renewable energy source of radioactive bananas
Ray Tracing and Optical Design of Healing Crystals based Adaptive Optics
Using a series of healing crystals suspended in a field of burnt sage smoke, we made an adaptive optics framework to truly see Jeffrey
Funky Linear Operators: A Pre-Conference Fever Dream
I perform markedly sloppy functional analysis shortly before taking an ‘extended sab- batical’.