Dr. Tiffany Love1
1 Department of Psychological Machine Learning Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
Generative AI has been shown to revolutionize everything from writing, coding, image generation, and terrifying luddites. Unfortunately for those of us who are newly single, very little research has been done on replacing the few good things about my Ex-Boyfriend. He drove me crazy, and I’m absolutely done with him, but there are some gaps left in my life I can’t seem to fulfill with Jeremy from Tinder who absolutely won’t stop messaging me! In between, Large Language Models (LLMs), Image Generation AI’s such as stable diffusion, or Midjourney, and general transformers, there is likely a way I can just replace the few good things about my Ex with AI before I do something stupid like texting him. In this paper, I will train ChadGPT, an LLM, to ask me about my day, use Image Generation to add in men on my social media posts to keep the creeps from DM’ing me weird comments again, generate my own Love Songs for me by John Mayer, create my own restaurant recommendation system and finally, utilize ChadGPT to create my own CHAD-Bot to do all my household chores.
Keywords: Generative AI, Large Language Models, Robotics, Recommendation Engines, Generative Imagery, Boyfriends
I have really been enjoying not having to deal with my Ex’s absolute obsession with video games [1-3], all the arguing over chores , him constantly trying to manipulate me , or his recent obsession with guns . I was not about to let him try and fit another gun safe in our closet! I don’t regret my decision to dump him at all. I’m doing way better without him and hardly miss him.
Unfortunately, there are benefits of having a boyfriend that I do miss; having someone to talk to after work, someone to help pick things to watch or restaurants to go to, physical chores around the house, and let’s not forget to mention my DMs blowing up after I posted just one photo of myself without my Ex in the picture. Apparently, most of my male friends and one female friend have been waiting him out. Some I’ve been suspecting since Highschool , and some surprises .
I am in no position to begin dating again and I don’t want to couple up with someone, just to be in a relationship. Thanks to the recent improvements in generative AI, many boyfriend perks are now possible without risking getting into a new relationship. Theoretically, a well-trained transformer could not only perform as my Ex but outperform him in many categories that would usually take me years of training through dropping subtle hints about not liking certain types of foods, learning when I really want to stay in one night, or to stop talking about the Roman empire! As shown in the figure below, machines are far easier to train than men!
2. He Who Shall Not be Named
Okay, I know my friends have been telling me for years that I’ve been needing to dump my Ex. When he brought up the speedboat incident , again, I knew it was time to move on. I felt a real clear head afterwards and was hopeful I wouldn’t have to think about him when I heard he developed a Cyclic Graph Algorithm so we wouldn’t have to run into each other , it felt like it was going to be a clean break. Lately though, I don’t know.
When I turn over in the middle of the night and I just see my dog Franky, there’s a hole that I can’t fill by watching a new dating reality show until I fall asleep every night. The connection I developed with my Ex is something that could only be feasibly replaced by an unexplainable predictive algorithm. As shown in the figure above, it took me at least four arguments and about a month of prep work per positive behavior to get to the point that I’d feel comfortable living with my Ex.
3. Generative AI Replacement Methods
Generative AI will revolutionize my ability to stay single as long as I want. As they say, 2023 was a huge decade for AI. Overnight, everyday users with no tech background were having long and thoughtful conversations with LLMs, making beautiful art with programs like Midjourney and stable Diffusion, people have even been using voice clones to make novel songs which sound like their favorite artists, or new Tucker Carlson Opinion pieces . The possibilities seem limitless! So, my Ex was never good at listening, or talking, he would show up, sometimes he would do chores, when pressured, and he wrote a song or two for me when he didn’t do those other things. Bless his heart, he only knows three chords on a guitar but sometimes that’s all it takes. Using generative AI, I believe his positive boyfriend behavior will be easily outperformed .
3.1 ChadGPT: A Special trained LLMs
Naturally, I would need to train my own LLM to replace my Ex. The publicly available AI chats are either too G rated or not G rated enough. I decided to call my Generative Pre-trained Transformer (GPT) Chat bot I custom trained, ChadGPT. Thankfully, because of my dedication to data collection and cleaning, I have about twelve years of text message exchange and secretly recorded audio conversations between myself and my Ex. If it weren’t for the secret audio recordings, ChadGPT would have been trained primarily on my Ex during our college dating experience when we texted more than twice a day about what I needed to pick up from the store. Recently, all I was getting out of him was “K.” and links to YouTube videos I kept having to lie about watching.
The secret audio recordings translated into text allowed for the chatbot to learn and evolve from the objective function of keeping me happy and not starting any arguments like about how my Ex played too many video games, or him wanting to buy a speed boat . I did find out that my Ex was tracking my mood and running a Time-Series forecasting models for his own selfish reasons . While his dataset he forgot to delete off of our shared google drive has proven useful in my ChadGPT training, he was sleeping on the couch for weeks when I found out. I had to cut off the training examples from the last year of dating my Ex because ChadGPT started avoiding talking all together as trying to chat while pre-occupied with some stupid game resulted in poorer outcomes than just focusing on the videogame. At least two years ago, there were good and bad days to differentiate.
3.2 Image generation for social media posting
One of the biggest issues with getting back out there is having to deal with all the thirsty guys sliding into my DMs. A recent study to project the effect of becoming single on my Instagram account has shown that without a boyfriend in at least 20% of my posts, I will receive on average 13-32 unsolicited messages a day from single guys . According to the breakdown in the figure below, while the vast majority of the dms from strangers will just comprise of some variation of ‘sup’ and ‘hey’, at least 40% will make comments on my appearance with less than 5% of those comments being appropriate to send to someone you’re not dating yet.
Thanks to a relatively cheap Midjourney subscription, I can generate as many boyfriend images as I want to photoshop into my Insta posts! Additionally, the appearance of seeing someone will prevent my parents from trying to set me up with a new son of a friend every time I go home. They never liked my Ex and really wanted me to date someone in the faith. The loss of my ability to use social media has been a serious hit, I’ve only been able to post pictures of sunsets and dogs!
3.3 Love song generation
I don’t have to just stop at using ChadGPT’s generative framework to create the lyrics and poetry specifically about myself. I can additionally use voice clone technology to turn it into an audio recording of any celebrity artist I want singing a beautiful song. Although a love song specifically for myself was found to not be marketable , I like them. I can finally have the voice of John Mayer singing a love song just for me without winning a radio contest. I thought about creating a Taylor Swift song about how she’s jealous, but her lawyers were too aggressive. Using easy to interface with tools, I can create a world class love ballad about myself, with great vocals and instrumentals with minimal effort. I would say it’s less effort than my ex put into his own love songs, but I’m pretty sure he just kept ripping off Oasis songs and tweaking the words. He swore he came up with everything. I don’t know why he thought I was so gullible I didn’t recognize the melody to Wonderwall.
3.4 Restaurant recommendation system
Whether it’s your Facebook or Amazon feed, recommendation systems simplify your life. My ex was always decent at picking places to go eat or what to do for dinner. He didn’t really like going through too much effort for dinner, so we usually kept things appropriately easy and cheap. Now I just miss having those recommendations for where to eat or what to watch when I don’t have anything meal prepped. I just can’t bring myself to eat chicken, rice, and some vegetable all five nights out of the week. Meal prepping doesn’t work for me. I make six meals and maybe eat two of them before getting bored. In order to get recommendations for new restaurants, the algorithm was directly connected to a yelp account to become informed automatically of new nearby trendy restaurants and bars.
3.5 A robot Chad trained to obey
Finally, I special designed a bipedal robot to do a lot of the chores around the house. I named him the Chore and Housework Automation Device Robot or CHAD-Bot. CHAD-Bot does whatever I ask of him without complaining about how he’s busy with some tough boss and doesn’t need reminding 4-8 times a night to take out the trash before trash day like some people do .
So, I know, a house chore robot isn’t exactly a generative AI. I’m still working on the bot autonomy, but I have equipped CHAD-Bot with ChadGPT, a behavioral learning algorithm, and the same Genetic algorithm that Santa Clause uses to path plan multiple tasks on Christmas . CHAD-Bot, as shown in the figure below, will accomplish all the heavy-duty physical tasks around the house I don’t have anyone around to task. With the conversations from my Ex regarding chores leading to huge arguments, it will be simple to train him to do it all from scratch. With all of these methodologies in place, there is nearly zero reason to ever have a boyfriend.
In order to evaluate all of the new boyfriend replacing generative AI, the Boyfriend Replacement Improvement Index (BRII) developed in  was used. As a whole, the generative AI methods have outperformed my Ex in nearly all categories except for the image generation, with some hiccups around the restaurant recommendation system. Results are shown in the table below. A positive BRII means a positive improvement of unspecified value while a negative BRII means a negative improvement.
|1 week training||2 weeks training||3 weeks training||4 weeks training|
|Love Song Generation||-1.2||1.8||3.2||2.4|
ChadGPT steadily improved over time in the BRII index before converging. The LLM was always great at making conversation but didn’t immediately pick up on the fact that most days I just wanted to complain about my day and didn’t want any comments trying to fix my problems. Sometimes, it’s just best to listen. Similarly, the love song generation improved over time as I became more skilled in using the software required. It was not an automated process.
The method that saw the most improvement was CHAD-Bot, it took forever to get it to do anything right. It kept screwing up the recyclables and doing the dishes all wrong, it didn’t stack the plates right OR load the dish washer correctly. Even after years of a relationship, my human Ex couldn’t do it either . Eventually CHAD-Bot began to learn and do it correctly.
The image generation and restaurant recomendation algorithm did not improve or change much objectively. They both performed similarly as I was not able to update the process. Midjourney created great images, but the effects were limited then began to backfire as only the men who were smart enough to tell it was an AI image and desperate enough to message me anyway contacted me. They were the most annoying. Additionally, when my parents, family, and friends realized what I was doing, they all interpreted the AI boyfriends as desperation and began trying to set me up even more than they were before. Example images can be seen below generated from my preferences. I think they turned out pretty great. If anything, they set the bar for everyone else!
Finally, the restaurant recommendation algorithm either got caught in a local minimum or fell prey to a guerilla marketing campaign. As I began querying the algorithm whenever I got tired of chicken and rice meal prep, it only recommended Chik-Fil-A or some Applebee’s equivalent medium-grade dine in restaurant. Yes, I love those, but I don’t want them every night. The algorithm either knows me too well, or some ad agency is really happy right now.
It does make sense that a ChadGPT would train much faster than a real biological boyfriend. However, when you define exactly what you want into the objective function, there are issues that can arise. While the ChadGPT is much more attentive, that attention may become suffocating. Every night, it keeps asking how I’m doing and wants to know about every single part of my day. Perhaps ChadGPT would be more effective if I trained in some of my Ex’s aloofness, but then I wonder if I’m just missing my Ex. Further research may be required that DOES NOT involve texting him.
The same issue arises in the love song generation. Is the algorithm just telling me what I want to hear based on some probabilistic language model trained on decades of song writing history? When I begin to think about that, it no longer made me feel special but just like another customer of the music industrial complex pandering to another girl.
Additionally, generative AI is not to a level which can create a convincing image of a boyfriend which can dissuade all creeps. Just enough of the smart ones can figure it out and label me as a lonely target. That alone with the attention I’ve received from family and friends for posting my fake boyfriend imagery has set me back to only posting pictures of sunsets and my dog Franky. I think even if the generative AI was able to create convincing AI Boyfriend imagery, I wouldn’t be able to keep up the charade with my family.
I don’t know how the algorithm figured out how much I love Chik-Fil-A, but it did. I would like to say that I didn’t go to Chik-Fil-A every single time that it suggested on 70% of the weekday nights, but I would be lying. Occasionally, it would recommend some new restaurant but would then mention that the wait time for the location is way too high, or it was in the part of town with awful parking and then suggested Chik-Fil-A as an alternative. Perhaps my happiest nights were when my Ex decided to bring me my spicy chicken Deluxe without asking. The AI must have picked up on that.
The CHAD-Bot was a mess, at first. Now it is not only accomplishing all of my household chores but has taken ownership of the house and has begun playing my Ex’s old Xbox. I think I may have trained CHAD-Bot a little too closely to the real thing. Maybe this is the sort of aim-bot my Ex was always complaining about, because it’s really good. When I want my TV back and tell him to power off, CHAD-Bot just responds ‘Not now babe, in a major Pubstomp right now. I’ve been on a ruthless rampage in no mercy mode’. I no longer feel safe around CHAD-Bot.
I think my Ex can indeed be replaced with generative AI. Much of his positive behavior has indeed been replicated and improved upon with the exception of social media. It turns out, you can fool most thirsty men out there but not your friends and family. After this breakup, I finally feel like I have someone I can talk to other than my dog Franky, and I can feel valued again with my new love song generation algorithm. There is still improvement to be made but I’m not rushing into any new toxic human relationships thanks to this new technology! I do worry about CHAD-Bot, I added a fail-safe power switch, but I think it’s pretending to turn off when I hard-reboot it.
7. Conflict of Interest
I love Chik-Fil-A and I mentioned it a lot. It is not a conflict of interest; I have not been paid by them but would be interested in an endorsement if this paper gets picked up by a major journal.
- Love, Tiffany 2022 Behavioral Conditioning Methods to Stop my Boyfriend from Playing the Witcher 3 :: Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology
- Broman, Chad 2022 Sub-Nyquist Sampling While Listening to my Girlfriend :: Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology
- Broman, Chad 2021 A Time-Series Analysis of my Girlfriend’s Mood Swings :: Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology
- Broman, Chad and Love, Tiffany 2022 Who Should do the Dishes? A Transportation Problem Solution :: Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology
- Love, Tiffany 2023 Freudian Psychoanalysis of my Boyfriend’s Gun Collection :: Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology
- Love, Tiffany 2021 The Highschool Crush who won’t Quit: How to Stop Jonathon from Asking me out in front of my Boyfriend and causing a scene at my Highschool Reunion :: Journal of Highschool Drama
- Love, Tiffany and Broman, Chad 2018 A Comparative Analysis of Joseph and Whether or not He was hitting on Tiffany :: Annals of Jealous Boyfriends Research and Possessiveness
- Broman, Chad 2018 Ph.D. A Play by Play Analysis of Purchasing a Luxury Speedboat during an out of Wedlock Pregnancy Scare :: Journal of Psychological Machine Learning
- Broman, Chad 2023 Breaking Up with your Girlfriend but not your Friends: A Cyclic Graph Algorithm for Social Network Preservation :: Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology
- Twitch Watches Tucker Carlson Drop Vaporeon Truth Bombs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czcbnc6YmLw
- Love, Tiffany 2022 Cursory analysis of Chad’s Positive behaviors and how Easy they Would be to Replace :: Journal of Comparative Dating
- Love, Tiffany 2018. Financial Analysis of buying a Stupid Useless Speedboat when I might be Pregnant :: Journal of Dual Income Households
- Love, Tiffany 2022 How many DMs would I get if I were Instagram Single: Can I be an Influencer? :: Journal of Follower Account Optimization
- Love, Tiffany 2023 Are my AI Love Songs to Myself Marketable :: Journal of Generative AI Hustle Culture
- Love, Tiffany 2021 A Statistical Model for Chore Reminders so my Boyfriend will Finally Remember about Trash Pickup Day :: Journal of Domestic Chores
- Santa Clause, Dr. Twinkles Holly-Jolly Tinselbottom, Dr. Mittens Snowball III M.D. 2022 Efficient Methods of One-Night Global Toy Delivery :: Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology
- Love, Tiffany 2022 The Boyfriend Replacement Improvement Index: How long will it take to Replace Chad: A Journey into the Sunk Cost Fallacy :: Journal of Comparative Dating
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