Who Should do the Dishes? A Transportation Problem Solution

angry multiethnic couple scolding each other during conflict

Dr. Chad BromanDr. Tiffany Love2

1 Department of Applied Psychological Machine Learning, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

2 Department of De-Gamification, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA


Once every modern relationship reaches the level of cohabitation, each couple must determine the optimum amount of household chore responsibilities. Historically in our relationship, this issue has been avoided by minimizing the total amount of responsibilities by avoiding having any kids and only taking care of plants and the occasional stray cat [1]. Unfortunately for our relationship, Tiffany adopted a dog Franky which requires much more work and cleaning. This strain has resurfaced the unsolved problem of who should do the dishes, an issue which was previously solved with the approximation formulated in [2]. Because of the increased stress on our own responsibilities, we as a couple will address this issue as a transportation problem using various linear programming techniques. Through this study, we determined that the Hungarian algorithm was not suitable to include Chad’s side hustle (game streaming) or Tiffany’s (Etsy knitting shop). In optimizing side hustle money, the Simplex method turned out to be too complicated to do by hand and the interior point method was cooler and a better way of determining that Chad should do the dishes. 

Keywords: Transportation Problem, Household Chores, Assignment, Relationships, Interior Point Method, Optimization

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If you missed out on the other Chad-Tiffany Papers don’t worry too much, they don’t relate to each other too much, but are still worth the read

Part 1: A Time Series Analysis of My Girlfriends Mood Swings

Part 2: Behavioral Conditioning Methods to Stop my Boyfriend from Playing The Witcher 3

Part 3: Sub-Nyquist Sampling While Listening to my Girlfriend

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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