Dr. Chad Broman1
1 Department of of Applied Psychological Machine Learning, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
The issue of listening to my girlfriend Tiffany while playing Dark Souls games is a long established problem which has yet to find a permanent solution . With the release of the Elden Ring, the need for an efficient sampling scheme in order to maintain enough concentration to defeat the multitude of tough bosses throughout the game is paramount. In order to make an initial play through of Sekiro: Shadow’s Die Twice, I got stuck at the Guardian Ape until I estimated the minimum Nyquist sampling rate while listening to Tiffany and managed to save enough mental bandwidth to finally make it through the third zombie monkey stage of the battle . Likewise, Elden Ring has shown to be filled with boss battles so tough that a sub-Nyquist sampling scheme must be developed to retain all information while listening to my Girlfriend while maintaining enough bandwidth to recognize certain enemy attacks in a split second to effectively dodge. This paper adapts, implements, and tests the Xampling methodology  to create a mixed Modulated Wideband Converter (MWC) so that I only listen to the words I absolutely need to hear.
Keywords: Digital Signal Processing, Relationship Advice, Elden Ring, Speech Processing, Margit the Fell Omen
If you enjoyed this fake article and want more scientifically backed relationship advice, please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our facebook group here, or the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit for weekly content.
If you REEEEALY love the content, for the equivalent price of a Chipotle Burrito, chips and Queso, you could buy our new book Et Al with over 20 hand picked Jabde articles for your reading pleasure, it’s the perfect Christmas/Birthday gift for confusing your unsuspecting family members! Order on amazon here: https://packt.link/at4bw Please rate and review so that you can brag to your friends about having opinions or showcase your excellent taste in reading material!