Behavioral Conditioning Methods to Stop my Boyfriend from Playing The Witcher 3

Dr. Tiffany Love1

1 Department of De-Gamification, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA


Every winter, my boyfriend Chad Broman plays Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. Each year, though he has memorized all the side quests and dialogue options, he spends progressively more time playing through this fantasy based open world game. As forecasted and modeled in [1], once the weather turns too cold to leave the house, Chad gets tired of whatever home improvement project he said he was going to do over the holiday break and starts a playthrough of The Witcher 3. He’s on his 10th play through. If these predictions are true, and he does purchase all the DLC, I might not spend quality time with him until March and actually break up with him this time like I should have when he bought that speedboat without asking. In this paper, I will present methods and results for implementing six different operant conditioning effects to decrease my boyfriend’s Witcher 3 pay time. 

Keywords: Psychology, Operant Conditioning, The Witcher 3, Behavioral Modification, Relationship Tips

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Also check out Chad’s article “A Time-Series Analysis of my Girlfriends Mood Swings

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

5 thoughts on “Behavioral Conditioning Methods to Stop my Boyfriend from Playing The Witcher 3

  1. You merely conform to traditional female stereotypes. A thoroughly modern miss would take up gaming herself. By deprivation of female attention (positive and negative) the test subject my take on new data resulting in modified behavioral patterns.

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