Data Pipeline Blocked after Massive Docker Container Crashes

[2:32am California Server Farm] A massive Docker Container has crashed in the middle of a data pipeline for a several video streaming platforms. The reported container is said to use over one terabyte of cached memory to build and nobody has touched the Dockerfile since its environment was first built three years ago. With all of the data engineers who built the thing gone, experts don’t think the data pipeline is going to unclog any time soon. Every minute the pipeline is closed, more data is becoming backlogged, and countless streaming service clientele are forced to leave their homes to do something else.

“We’re trying to un-crash this container as fast as we can but it’s going to take a while,” commented a data engineer closely working the problem. “Historically, these massive docker containers are extremely reliable and a lot of the modern world relies on their ability to build complex development environments with all the necessary dependencies. Once we as a society started shipping all our software products in these containers, they just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. The older infrastructure’s just not built for something this big anymore.”

The data engineers are rebuilding the container but it’s slow work installing one dependency at a time and finding the correct version for everything. “We’re working around the clock tracking down the massive amount of dependencies, at this rate, we might as well try and rebuild everything in Kubernetes. At this point in the game, there’s not much reason to point blame and just focus on getting this container, up and running, and out of this pipeline.” Sam Eldridge commented while staring at a terminal installing gigabytes worth of Kafka packages which may or may not be used by the container or be deprecated. Some expect the container will be rebuilt and running sometime in the next week, but most who have ever debugged legacy code themselves remain skeptical this disaster will end any time soon.

If you enjoyed this fake news article please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our facebook group hereor the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit for weekly content. 

If you REEEEALY love the content, for the equivalent price of a Chipotle Burrito, chips and Queso, you could buy our new book Et Al with over 20 hand picked Jabde articles for your reading pleasure, it’s the perfect Christmas/Birthday gift for confusing your unsuspecting family members! Order on amazon here: Please rate and review so that you can brag to your friends about having opinions or showcase your excellent taste in reading material!

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: