You’re a fresh new student assistant who just got accepted at your dream job of assisting the famous Dr. Elias Goodall Smyth in his research. You’ve been working your way through the grueling zoology program at Cranberry Lemon University. This summer you finally got the opportunity to work in the labs instead of going back to work the register at Panera Bread like you’ve done since high school.
He’s famous for doing real research with real Chimpanzees at the Pittsburgh zoo and you’re going to get to help! Do you accept?
B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.
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