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Category Archives: Journal of Immaterial Science

Proof of Wankery: A Novel Consensus Model for the Blockchain

Proof of Work is killing the planet, Proof of Stake is a pyramid scheme, and other proposed consensus models are either easy to spoof or infeasible to implement. Herein, a new model is proposed: Proof of Wankery (PoWank).

Posted byGüntherSchlonkOctober 7, 2022October 7, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Parody, Satire, ScienceLeave a comment on Proof of Wankery: A Novel Consensus Model for the Blockchain

Funky Linear Operators: A Pre-Conference Fever Dream

I perform markedly sloppy functional analysis shortly before taking an ‘extended sab- batical’.

Posted byGüntherSchlonkOctober 1, 2022October 1, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Research, Satire, ScienceLeave a comment on Funky Linear Operators: A Pre-Conference Fever Dream

The Journal of Immaterial Science – Volume 2

J. Immat. Sci. Volume 2

The second volume of J. Immat. Sci.

Posted byGüntherSchlonkSeptember 10, 2022September 10, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Chemistry, Research, SatireLeave a comment on The Journal of Immaterial Science – Volume 2

Immaterials and Methods: Reagents for the Total Laboratory Synthesis of the Chocolate Chip Cookie

How much would it cost to make chocolate cookies with ingredients from Sigma Aldrich?

Posted byGüntherSchlonkJuly 29, 2022July 29, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Satire, ScienceLeave a comment on Immaterials and Methods: Reagents for the Total Laboratory Synthesis of the Chocolate Chip Cookie

The Flatom™: a Novel Atomic Theory Inspired by a Flat Earth

Drawing from the recent scientific consensus that the Earth is flat, we disclose a new model of atomic theory proposing that atoms are also flat.

Posted byGüntherSchlonkJuly 22, 2022July 22, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Satire, ScienceLeave a comment on The Flatom™: a Novel Atomic Theory Inspired by a Flat Earth

Don Jalton – A Forgotten Pioneer of Atomic Theory

Don Jalton Jose Jesus de Manchester y Birmingham (1730-1800) was an expatriot Spanish scientist and polymath who developed an atomic theory predating that credited to Dalton.

Posted byGüntherSchlonkJuly 15, 2022July 15, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Satire, ScienceLeave a comment on Don Jalton – A Forgotten Pioneer of Atomic Theory

X-ray Crystallomancy

How to use healing crystals to generate a 3D chemical structure.

Posted byGüntherSchlonkJuly 1, 2022July 1, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Chemistry, Satire2 Comments on X-ray Crystallomancy

The Lost Molecules of M.C. Escher

We report the synthesis of some molecules found in a sketch found down the back of Escher’s couch.

Posted byGüntherSchlonkMay 20, 2022May 20, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Chemistry, SatireLeave a comment on The Lost Molecules of M.C. Escher

Turning Wine into Blood: A Mechanistic Study of the Transubstantiation Reaction

An investigation into the mechanism of the transubstantiation reaction.

Posted byGüntherSchlonkApril 15, 2022April 15, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Chemistry, Parody, Satire, ScienceLeave a comment on Turning Wine into Blood: A Mechanistic Study of the Transubstantiation Reaction

Echocatalysis: Playing Mozart to Chemical Reactions

You’ve heard of classical music making babies smarter and plants grow faster, right? How about using it to make chemistry work better?

Posted byGüntherSchlonkApril 8, 2022April 8, 2022Posted inArticles, Journal of Immaterial ScienceTags:Chemistry, Humor, Parody, Research, Satire, ScienceLeave a comment on Echocatalysis: Playing Mozart to Chemical Reactions

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