B. McGraw1,2
1 Department of Overfitting Analytics, Cranberry-Lemon University Medical School, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
2 Recent new dad
Abstract
I am now 9.5 weeks into being a dad and feeding my daughter Hannah has been like filling a bucket with a hole in it. This was when I realized I needed to model her using Ordinary Differential Equations (ODE). She is an ever changing and unpredictable system and she’ll let you know if she needs changing. The trickiest part of infant care is feeding. How much? How fast? Did she have enough? Did we sterilize that bottle? Unfortunately, the answers change over time. With the feed, digestion and spit up rate, it is even possible to never completely feed Hannah to satisfaction. It is only through the use of ODEs that we might be able to determine the correct way to feed her so that we can finally get her to sleep at a reasonable hour. In this paper we will develop a system of equations that can adequately model my daughter to better inform us how much and how fast to feed her. By the time I finished this paper, everything has changed again, and we must update all 15 parameters.
Keywords: Triple feeding, Differential Equations, Infant Care, Feed Rate, Bottle Nozzle, Boob Uncertainty, Spit Up Probability, Babymetrics, Milk Control Scheme, Milk, Endless Feeding Cycles, Digestion Rate
<I’m too lazy to translate all the greek letters and equations on to the blog…here’s the pdf…it might be 50% baby content for a while y’all>
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