A Particle Physics Model of Why My Room is Never Clean and Why I Shouldn’t have to Clean it Up Everyday Like Mommy Tells Me To

Jack Lee1, Spiderman Action Figure2 and Batman3

1 Mrs. Parkers 2nd Grade Home Room, 

2 One of my favorite toys, along with Iron Man. I got him at Christmas. It was exactly what I wanted! I play with him twice a day and would more if I could bring him to school with me, I would.

3 Batman is a VERY COOL Superhero. He’s not in the avengers or has any special powers but I like him. I think he’s cool. I think him not having powers makes him more cool


My room is never clean. Even though mommy tells me to clean it. I don’t like cleaning my room. Even though I try to clean it every time mommy tells me to, it somehow gets messier. When it is not clean, my mommy makes me clean it before watching tv. I have to put away all my toys, and all my clothes, and make my bed, and put away all my toys! One time I did everything but I forgot to make my bed and my mommy wouldn’t let me watch tv because my bed wasn’t made. It wasn’t fair! Because I’m getting tired of cleaning I have decided I want to come up with a reason for why my room is never as clean like Tom’s. Tom is a cat on TV. His room is always messy. I will use quantum mechanics to validate my explanation and to be allowed to watch TV. Quantum mechanics is a thing I learned about on TV last week. I checked out a book from the school library on quantum mechanics and it was 574 pages long! 

Keywords:  Physics, Quantum Physics, Particle Physics, Quarks, Boson, PBS Spacetime, Tom, Jerry, Elementary School

1. Introduction

Somehow, my room always looks like Tom and Jerry had come over for a party. Tom is a cat and Jerry is a mouse. They are always chasing each other and Jerry always wins! There are wrappers everywhere, my lego is all over the carpets and worst of all I can’t find my Iron Man action figure. Mommy always yells at me to tidy up my room, and has even put me in time-out. She also doesn’t let me watch TV until my room is clean. This is not fair, Tom and Jerry never had to clean their rooms! Because I’m tired of always hearing “Go clean that room of yours, Jack” I will use quantum mechanics and particle physics to show mommy that it will be pointless. I learned about quantum mechanics on TV and in a book with very few pictures! But the pictures were REALLY AWESOME!

1.1 Background

My friend Aaron said that this can be solved by repeating the second law of thermodynamics back to Mommy [1]. Aaron and I are best friends. He is very smart and has a pool at his house. I had no clue what that was so I checked out a book from the library that was 574 pages long! The book was blue and I had to use both hands to hold it. I read twenty four pages of the book on quantum mechanics and I don’t understand it. I watched a YouTube video on it too. After watching the videos, I think the second law of thermodynamics is very AWESOME! and explains why my room is messy.

Figure 1: I drew a subatomic particle once and I used four crayons to do it. Mrs. Parker said I did a good job

Figure 1: I drew a subatomic particle once and I used four crayons to do it. Mrs. Parker said I did a good job

Even though it is true and not made up, it is not accurate because the second law applies only to a closed system. My room is not a closed system. I leave it and I come back. Anybody in my classroom will tell you that a room in a house is never completely closed. Except Jeremy who doesn’t invite me over even though I think we are friends and hang out during school. For the second law to explain my room, I think my room is a closed system. When I don’t leave, it gets messier. For this argument to work I need to consider the system that is really big. A really big system would have both the Earth and the sun which is definitely harder than the twelve times tables [2]. I cannot think of a bigger system. To get an answer I am happy with, I want to explain it with particle physics instead of thinking about a big system.

2. Mess-on

On quantum mechanics YouTube videos and in the twenty four pages of the book I read, there are a lot of forces. The force is like the force in StarWars, except it isn’t. I think a new force is making my room messier. This force is a new force and it’s the force’s fault and not mine for my room being messy. I will call this MR because these are my favorite letters. The MR is very small because I don’t see it. One day I got a magnifying glass and I still couldn’t see it. Every force this small must have a corresponding particle so I will describe some of the properties now.

  1. The particle must live for at least a few seconds. I watched somewhere on TV that some bugs only live for one day. I think my particle is like a bug because it is really really REALLY SMALL!
  2. It must serve as the force carrier for MR. I think it can be like a magnet, except instead of magnets, it is another particle. Forces are in magnets. I played with a magnet once and I linked together five before one fell off. That was two more than my sister.
  3. It must be able to interact with all matter particles because all of my stuff that has to be put away that isn’t put away is made out of matter. In the blue book that is 574 pages long, it says that everything is made up of matter. I thought that was REALLY COOL!

I couldn’t find any particle that fit these criteria but also explain MR even though I looked at all 574 pages and even read twenty four all the way through. I think that there is a new particle that isn’t in the book even though the book is really really big. My dad has a book that is bigger but it is about Egypt. That is the place with the pyramids! The new particle is like a MR magnet or Force-Carrier. I learned what a Force-Carrier is from my book. It’s like a magnet. I will call this particle the “Mess-on”. I like the name because it has ‘mess’ in it and most of the particles in my book end in ‘on’.

2.1 Properties

I think the “Mess-on” particle is really important. The Mess-On particle is special for a lot of reasons. First of all because it is the Force-Carrier that creates MR it must be a boson [3]. A boson is another particle. You can tell it’s a particle because it ends in ‘on’ like Mess-On. I don’t know if this is a new elementary particle like the graviton or a composite particle like the eptaquark which doesn’t end in ‘on’. A quark is a particle that doesn’t end in ‘on’ but is an elementary particle unlike an eptaquark. I watched a video and learned the difference between elementary and composite particles. I think it’s still a particle even though it doesn’t end in ‘on’. We do not know. I read that the math is too hard [4] and I can only multiply up to twenty which is a lot! Because I like watching PBS Spacetime, I want PBS Space time to do an episode to find out. The Mess-on lives for about 4.2 seconds which is how long it takes for me to decide to play with my Lego instead of tidying up my room after being yelled at by mommy [5]. 

The mass of the Mess-on is dependent on whether it is an elementary particle or a composite particle. I watched a video and learned the difference between elementary and composite particles. I like the video because it was explained with legos and was very funny. An elementary particle is like a single lego but a composite particle is like a bunch of legos. I thought that was really awesome that we are like legos because we are made up of matter which is made up of particles! 

Figure 2: My Legos because we are like Legos because particles are like legos and I like Legos. That is me next to my friend Aaron, he has a pool with a slide!

Figure 2: My Legos because we are like Legos because particles are like legos and I like Legos. That is me next to my friend Aaron, he has a pool with a slide!

If it is an elementary particle, then the Mess-on could be massless. The graviton is a massless particle. I think it could have some mass which it would get from the Higgs Boson. Even though it is really small, I think it could have mass. I still do not know if the Mess-on is elementary or not. I think I can still give an estimate for the mass. Since no Mess-ons have been discovered at any particle collider because they are not in my really big book. I think that the Mess-on must be heavier than the heaviest particle known; the Higgs Boson [6]. I read about that particle and it was the biggest of ALL the particles! It’s still too small to see. I took a scale my mommy uses in the kitchen and weighed some Mess-ons. It measured in grams which is too big! The Mess-on is really really small. Mess-on is 169 GeV/c2 I think because that is a big number for a particle. I think it has other properties such as its spin and electrical charge. I learned at a museum that I get really dizzy when I spin and that my hair stands up from an electrical charge. I touched a glass ball with lightning inside and it charged me with electric charge. I read that particles do these things like when I did it with the lightning at the museum but I don’t know how to measure it because I only finished 24 pages of my book and I need to return it tomorrow.

2.2 Diagrams and Stuff

In this section I draw some figures because all papers have figures and diagrams and I like drawing.

Figure 3: The Mess-on particle: draw here

Figure 3: The Mess-on particle: draw here

No one has seen what an atom looks like. I haven’t either and I haven’t seen what a Mess-on looks like. Not even with THREE MAGNIFYING GLASSES! I cannot provide any realistic diagram on the structure of the Mess-on. I can but I would be lying and lying is wrong. Figure 3 shows what I think the Mess-on would look like. I don’t know but I think you might so if you do please draw it in the space above. I like how when I get a book that lets me draw, it gives me space to draw what I like. I think you should draw what you think the Mess-on particle looks like! It is fun! When I draw pictures my mommy likes to put them up on the refrigerator. She puts up more pictures my sister draws than mine though.

I learned that a Feynman diagram is a type of diagram. It looks like the one in Figure 4 except I drew figure 4 and figure 4 is not in my book. I did it with a pen and I did it really carefully because I can’t erase. A Feynman diagram shows what an interaction is. An interaction is a way that two things interact like me and my room.

Figure 4: Feynman diagram of Mess-on interaction, self-drawn. I am H and my room is R and this is why my Room is messy

Figure 4: Feynman diagram of Mess-on interaction, self-drawn. I am H and my room is R and this is why my Room is messy

It is also important to consider the interaction between the Mess-on and other particles. In Figure 4 I have drawn a Feynman diagram showing an example interaction involving the Mess-on. H+ is me who is ready to clean my messy room R*. There is a mediating Mess-on that carries out the interaction between me and the room. Mediating is like when my mom stops me from fighting with my sister. She is very mean sometimes and my mom stops me from being mean back even though she deserves it. I think the Mess-on is like that and keeps my room messy even though I do not want it to be so that I can watch TV. I lose all interest in tidying up and turn from H+ to H- and want to stop and watch TV. even though I CAN’T! Other interactions can then be made by simply drawing more squiggly lines in the diagram. I wanted to draw more squiggly lines but I couldn’t think of any more letters to represent them.

3. Theory

There are two ways to explain the Mess-on. It is either a new elementary particle or it is a new composite particle. I watched a video and learned the difference between elementary and composite particles. They are very different. I hope it is an elementary particle because I can keep the ‘on’. Even though I still would even if it was not. If the Mess-on is a new elementary particle, then the Standard Model would need to be completely reworked to include this new interaction [7]. There would need to be a new force for the Mess-on. The Force would not be like the one in StarWars. I name this hypothetical force “Bum”, because any time I interact with it I turn into one because that’s what my mommy calls me [8].

The Mess-on might also be a composite particle. Composite particles have other particles, like a lego set. I like Legos! What are its particles? If it were a composite particle, I would really really really like to know what particles made it up. I drew some pictures and tried different legos and I think that it would have a Bottom Anti-Bottom quark makeup like a picture I found on page 325 of my big book. This would not only allow it to have the necessary mass required as discussed in section 2.1, but it would also make it a boson. My room gets really messy really fast and I think it must be a big particle like a boson. Last night, it took me thirty minutes to clean up my room. 

4. Experiment

I found out that I have a science fair. I wanted to do a volcano again but my daddy says he doesn’t want me to make a mess in his workshop again. I want to prove the Mess-on particle for my experiment. The Mess-on is very small and I don’t know what to do. I can’t show it, not even with a magnifying glass. I had my friend Aaron come over and he brought two magnifying glasses and we combined all three and still could not see a Mess-on particle even though I know it is there. I read in my book that I can find my particle with a Large Hadron Collider (LHC). It is a big long long long pipe full of magnets and throws things together. I once threw a ball at another ball in mid air when I was sleeping over at my friend Aaron’s house and they hit. It was really cool. It took ONE MILLION tries to get them to hit! 

The LHC needed 14 TeV worth of energy to create the Higgs Boson at 125 MeV/c2 and I only have AA batteries to power some of my toys. I think that anybody searching for the Mess-on would need more energy than that.  They would need a lot of AA batteries. I think that any country with lots of money to spend on a particle accelerator should donate it to me so I can buy my own AA batteries so that I can have my own LHC and find the Mess-on particle and win a ribbon at my science fair. I think I will need at least a million AA batteries or two million times a million times infinity AAA batteries. That is a very big number. I think we should buy AA batteries. 

5. Conclusion

I learned a lot about Quantum Mechanics from my big book even though I only read 24 pages of the 574 pages in the big book and I think the Mess-On is real. I learned that it probably has mass even though I can’t weigh it with my mommy’s kitchen scale. It is very small and I can’t see it with a magnifying glass. Not even THREE MAGNIFYING GLASSES COMBINED! I think the MR force theory is why my room is always messy despite cleaning it up every night to watch TV. The Mess-on explains everything by making me think about all the things and how we are like legos. Now that I know about the Mess-on I can finally explain to mommy that it’s not because I’m lazy, but the Mess-on that’s making me not clean my room, leaving me with more time to play Minecraft and build legos and watch TV and go over to Aaron’s house which has a pool with a slide and a hot tub. The hot tub is very hot!

6. Acknowledgements

I wrote all of this by myself with no help! My Spiderman action figure watched me and stopped all the bad guys while I was writing this paper (Iron Man would have also been here to help but I can’t find him even though he is best friends with Spiderman). Batman helped me draw and remember all the words and helped me read all 24 pages of my 574 page book. I want to read more of it. I think I can read all of it.

7. References

  1. Applications of Thermodynamics in School” Cummings, Aaron,  Journal of Professional Juveniles
  2. Why I struggle with the 12 times tables” Lee, Jack, Journal of Professional Juveniles
  3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_particles
  4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boson
  5. How long it takes for me to play with my Lego instead of cleaning my room” Lee, Jack, Journal of Professional Juveniles
  6. https://www.nbcnews.com/science/science-news/top-quark-mass-worlds-heaviest-elementary-particle-found-n59006
  7. CERN Experiment Disproves Physics! Or just bad measurements
  8. Analysis of why I randomly become a bum” Lee, Jack, Journal of Professional Juveniles.

If you enjoyed this well peer reviewed article in which a second grader read 24 pages of a 574 page book and came up with a new particle theory to explain entropy in the context of his messy room please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our facebook group hereor the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit for weekly content, and keep a look out for our upcoming print book!

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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