Wyatt “The Log Whisperer” Johnson1,2,3,4,5
1 Department of Statistical Wood Studies, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
2 Owner of Wyatt Johnson’s Fine Furniture Warehouse with half priced deals on cabinets and Coffee Tables this Presidents Day! Pittsburgh, PA, USA
3 Owner of Wyatt Johnson’s Specialty Wood Depot LLC, If you can saw it, you can buy it here, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
4 President, Treasury, and Pot-Luck Organizer of the Royal American Selective Logging Society
5 Chief Editor of and author of the Veneer Logging Magazine, 12 issues a year for only a 60$ per 6 month subscription. A TRUE BARGAIN with all the wisdom you’ll gain!
Abstract
There is no logging business immune to facing major legal litigation pushed by an environmentalist like that snake in the grass Samantha Greene. Due to impending court orders, my business is stuck with the natural log-natural log growth in tree nurseries. Previously, my specialty wood depot and personal logging business churned out exponentially more logs year after year bringing value like you wouldn’t believe to customers like you! Unfortunately, banned from wild foresting like my pappy and grand-pappy used to do and limited to tree nurseries, there is no easy way to meet my exponential demand given natural log growth. However, land use may be scaled up by utilizing a Buc-ee’s spread model, and miracle tree growth fortified mulch, and infinite root formulas. In this paper, these techniques will be implemented and analyzed to match our previous natural log-exponential growth model.
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