Samantha Greene1
1 Department of Environmental Cuteness, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
Abstract
When the Great 👴Salt🧂 Lake💦 was cut🤺 in two by an earthen 🚂railroad🚂 causeway, few biologists knew🤔 how much the biome🧫 of the Northern half would change. Due to the significant increase in 🧂salinity🧂 of the Northern half of the lake with few drainages, the 🧍body🧍♀️ of water💦 continued to become 🧂saltier and saltier🧂 like my cousins when you bring up politics. Normally, 🧍humans🧍♀️ have terrible effects on the 🌲environment🌸 like that dirty scam artist Wyatt Johnson cutting down beautiful 🌲trees🌲! This time, they’ve adorably microscopic 💕pink💗 creatures 💘turning 💖half 💓the 🌷lake 🔥Hot🔥 Pink👛!
Keywords: Biology, Salinity, Brine Shrimp, Carotenoids, high salinity creatures, adorable little, 🐣tiny🐥 pink💖 things💘!
1. Boring Brine Shrimp
These 🥺adorbs😭 shrimps 💖love💘 the 🧂salts🧂, they can survive🏕 in salinity levels of 25-250%! Leave it to these 🧁sweet🍭 guys to eat enough 🥕carotenoid🥕 🐷pigments🐖 to be 💓super 💗pink💕 and turn the water💦 this lovely color🎨! Fun fact about brine 🦐shrimp🦐. Their eggs are in a dormant state and hatch whenever there is 😭water💦 which allowed them to be marketed as the pet 🌊Sea 🙊Monkeys🙈!
2. Chloroalga Halophytotardigradu (Pink Chloroalga Water Bear)
This little 👼cute🥰 guy💁♂️ is also known as the 💦Water Bear🧸 of the West or the 💕Pink 💦Water Bear🐻! Oh, MAH GOSH, I WISH I could keep one as a 🐈pet🐶, but I would need a 🔬microscope just to 👀see them! Only discovered in the West, these cuties become coated in 🔥hot pink Algae.
3. Pink Algae
Growing in 🧍bodies🧍♀️ of water💦 20-35% 🧂salinity🧂, Pink Algae 🕺thrive💃 like you couldn’t surmize! Using the same 🥕Carotenoid🥕 found in 👩🦰carrots👨🏻🦰, they coat their membranes🧠 with a 🛡protective 👹red layer which gives a 👺reddish-💗pinkish💓 hue to the 💦water they 🤠thrive in. At the end of the day😴, these little 🫠guys, too small for a close-up📸, are the primary reason 🥴anything in the lake is 💓pink.
4. Fungihalophilus Coralliumrosa (Pink Coral-like Salt Fungus)
While most 🍄fungi would never be able to ⛺️survive in a large🏔 salty🧂 body🧍 of 💦water🔫 or even in a 🌵desert🐫 as 🍸dry as ⛪️Utah’s⛪️, this 😱cute-as-a-button🤭 little dude here plops around shooting 💓pink💗 spores🍄 everywhere in the Great Salt Lake. As Abso-LUTELY ADORABLE as they are, please don’t touch them🚫👉🚫 or you’ll 💀die💀 in under an ⏰hour⏰ as they grow in your 🩸bloodstream🩸.
5. Salinodermata Lichenovorus (Saline Pink Dust Mite)
Who🦉 said dust🧹 mites🤔 had to be 🤢disgusting🤮? When coated with 🇺🇸glorious 🧂salt 🥕Carotenoid🧂 they are 👄FAB-U-LOUS🤩! I just want to get up 🤗close to one and hug🤫 it and tell it that it’s 👌OKAY✅ even if the state government of ⛪️Utah⛪️ keeps trying to 💀irradicate💀 its’ existence. Though, it would be a 😇good 💡idea to keep your distance😦 as your skin🧴 will itch😨 for days📆 if they ever get a chance to 🛌lay 🥚eggs🍳 in your pores.
6. Diatomsalinitas Rosachitin (Saline Pink Chitin Diatom)
These 🧫diatom-like🧪 creatures 👶grew👨🏻💼 up so 🏃♀️fast and 🏃♂️quickly in the 👴Great 🧂Salt ⛵️Lake. They grow a protective🛡 pink💓 armor or Carotenoidnanium which blocks out all the 🧂salt🧂 from interfering with their 🥂delicate wittle🐣 digestive🥬 system. We’ll never 😖know😱 how many 🦵legs🦿 they actually have. Any ⏱time⏳ these 👧🏻wittle guys👦 walk🚶 up☝️ on you🫵 be quick🏃♂️💨 and take a 🤳pic📸! But do ⚠️beware⚠️, they have been 👩🏫known to carry🫃 a rare form of the ☣️Bubonic Plague☣ so keep your distance📏.
7. Halofloraemulsia Rosapolymer (Saline Pink Emulsion Goop Monster)
Counter🤺 to all😩 of the other 💘pink🌸 creatures💕 getting their 🐽pigment🐖 from ingesting 🥕carotenoid-covered 🧪algae, this Emulsion🤮 Goop🍦 Monster🧌 has actually adapted active🤼♂️ camouflage🍃 to 😏sneak👟 up and trap 🦝animal🐄 nutrients in its 💕pink sticky🍚 exterior. Often 🤷♀️confused🤷 with gelatinous forms of 💘pink💗 algae, the Halofloraemulsia Rosapolymer is 🤓something🤓 completely 🔺different🔺. Some people😧 think these guys are ugly😠, but I think they’re actually misunderstood😣, and their goop🍯 is good for you as it is harvested to produce 💞Pepto💞 Bismol💖.
8. Katy Perry
Okay 🤷♀️so maybe 😍Katy Perry🥰 doesn’t live in the Northern half of the 👵Great 🧂 Salt 🌊Lake💦 or could live in an 🌴environment🌳 comprised of 💦water💦 with at least 25% 🧂salinity🧂. But she’s 💘pink💖, she at least played in Salt🧂 Lake💦 City🌆 before, and it’s my🤷♀️ list💁♂️! I think there’s a chance🎲 she made the lake even 💖more 💘pink💞!
9. Lichenocorallium Floraspore (Pink Lichen-spore Coral)
Loosely 👨👩👧👦related👩👩👦👦 to the 🍄Fungihalophilus🍄 Coralliumrosa, these Lichen-spores💨 are coral-like🪸 fungal🍄 creatures that grow and spread🦵🧔♂️🦵 far onto land🛬. They roll🧻 around and get all dizzy😵💫 as they spread🦵🧔♂️🦵 their tendril🐙 networks💻 hundreds of yards away from their highly 🧂salty 💦watery 🫃birthing ☕️grounds. I know they look 🥹adorable and 👅taste like Skittles🍭 but be sure to never step on their 🤯heads. This isn’t because it’ll 😠hurt 😥them, they want you to 🦶step🐾 on their 👨🏻head👩 and release thousands and thousands of 💨spores💨 into the air🙌 which will likely give you chronic asthma😷!
10. Crustacea Salinocaridella Florachela Polyspina (Fred the crab)
Fred the 🦀Crab is a 📕novel📘 creature recently discovered in the 🧂salt 🏊♀️pools🎱 of the Great👵 Salt🧂 Lake💦 late last spring🌺. Their just 👶itty-bitty-teensy-weensy-sand🏝 crabs🦀 who 🚼critter-crawl🚼 from one environment🌲 to another. I just want one so bad🫣! It’s too bad most get captured🤬 and studied by the 🪖military🎖 due to their ☣️neurotoxin☣ which can paralyze a full-sized 👨🏻🦰man👴🏼 with a tiny pin 📌prick👈.
11. Conclusion
So what if a lot of them are pretty ☠️deadly☠️? They are all just 🔥hot🔥 💖pink🌸 and adorable🥰 and make me want to study🤓 them even more! Who would have ever 🧐guessed we would have gotten creatures so 🤤cute, 😲wittle, and 😪adorable from something as 🏭industrial as a 🚂railroad🛤?!?
If you enjoyed this very tots adorbs list of microscoptic creatures living in the Northern half of the Great Salt Lake please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our facebook group here, or the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit for weekly content.
If you REEEEALY love the content, for the equivalent price of a Chipotle Burrito, chips and Queso, you could buy our new book Et Al with over 20 hand picked Jabde articles for your reading pleasure, it’s the perfect Christmas/Birthday gift for confusing your unsuspecting family members! Order on amazon here: https://packt.link/at4bw Please rate and review so that you can brag to your friends about having opinions or showcase your excellent taste in reading material!
