1 Department of Environmental Cuteness, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
When the Great 👴Salt🧂 Lake💦 was cut🤺 in two by an earthen 🚂railroad🚂 causeway, few biologists knew🤔 how much the biome🧫 of the Northern half would change. Due to the significant increase in 🧂salinity🧂 of the Northern half of the lake with few drainages, the 🧍body🧍♀️ of water💦 continued to become 🧂saltier and saltier🧂 like my cousins when you bring up politics. Normally, 🧍humans🧍♀️ have terrible effects on the 🌲environment🌸 like that dirty scam artist Wyatt Johnson cutting down beautiful 🌲trees🌲! This time, they’ve adorably microscopic 💕pink💗 creatures 💘turning 💖half 💓the 🌷lake 🔥Hot🔥 Pink👛!
Keywords: Biology, Salinity, Brine Shrimp, Carotenoids, high salinity creatures, adorable little, 🐣tiny🐥 pink💖 things💘!
1. Boring Brine Shrimp
These 🥺adorbs😭 shrimps 💖love💘 the 🧂salts🧂, they can survive🏕 in salinity levels of 25-250%! Leave it to these 🧁sweet🍭 guys to eat enough 🥕carotenoid🥕 🐷pigments🐖 to be 💓super 💗pink💕 and turn the water💦 this lovely color🎨! Fun fact about brine 🦐shrimp🦐. Their eggs are in a dormant state and hatch whenever there is 😭water💦 which allowed them to be marketed as the pet 🌊Sea 🙊Monkeys🙈!
2. Chloroalga Halophytotardigradu (Pink Chloroalga Water Bear)
This little 👼cute🥰 guy💁♂️ is also known as the 💦Water Bear🧸 of the West or the 💕Pink 💦Water Bear🐻! Oh, MAH GOSH, I WISH I could keep one as a 🐈pet🐶, but I would need a 🔬microscope just to 👀see them! Only discovered in the West, these cuties become coated in 🔥hot pink Algae.
3. Pink Algae
Growing in 🧍bodies🧍♀️ of water💦 20-35% 🧂salinity🧂, Pink Algae 🕺thrive💃 like you couldn’t surmize! Using the same 🥕Carotenoid🥕 found in 👩🦰carrots👨🏻🦰, they coat their membranes🧠 with a 🛡protective 👹red layer which gives a 👺reddish-💗pinkish💓 hue to the 💦water they 🤠thrive in. At the end of the day😴, these little guys, too small for a close-up📸, are the primary reason 🥴anything in the lake is 💓pink.
4. Fungihalophilus Coralliumrosa (Pink Coral-like Salt Fungus)
While most 🍄fungi would never be able to ⛺️survive in a large🏔 salty🧂 body🧍 of 💦water🔫 or even in a 🌵desert🐫 as 🍸dry as ⛪️Utah’s⛪️, this 😱cute-as-a-button🤭 little dude here plops around shooting 💓pink💗 spores🍄 everywhere in the Great Salt Lake. As Abso-LUTELY ADORABLE as they are, please don’t touch them🚫👉🚫 or you’ll 💀die💀 in under an ⏰hour⏰ as they grow in your 🩸bloodstream🩸.
5. Salinodermata Lichenovorus (Saline Pink Dust Mite)
Who🦉 said dust🧹 mites🤔 had to be 🤢disgusting🤮? When coated with 🇺🇸glorious 🧂salt 🥕Carotenoid🧂 they are 👄FAB-U-LOUS🤩! I just want to get up 🤗close to one and hug🤫 it and tell it that it’s 👌OKAY✅ even if the state government of ⛪️Utah⛪️ keeps trying to 💀irradicate💀 its’ existence. Though, it would be a 😇good 💡idea to keep your distance😦 as your skin🧴 will itch😨 for days📆 if they ever get a chance to 🛌lay 🥚eggs🍳 in your pores.
6. Diatomsalinitas Rosachitin (Saline Pink Chitin Diatom)
These 🧫diatom-like🧪 creatures 👶grew👨🏻💼 up so 🏃♀️fast and 🏃♂️quickly in the 👴Great 🧂Salt ⛵️Lake. They grow a protective🛡 pink💓 armor or Carotenoidnanium which blocks out all the 🧂salt🧂 from interfering with their 🥂delicate wittle🐣 digestive🥬 system. We’ll never 😖know😱 how many 🦵legs🦿 they actually have. Any ⏱time⏳ these 👧🏻wittle guys👦 walk🚶 up☝️ on you be quick🏃♂️💨 and take a 🤳pic📸! But do ⚠️beware⚠️, they have been 👩🏫known to carry a rare form of the ☣️Bubonic Plague☣ so keep your distance📏.
7. Halofloraemulsia Rosapolymer (Saline Pink Emulsion Goop Monster)
Counter🤺 to all😩 of the other 💘pink🌸 creatures💕 getting their 🐽pigment🐖 from ingesting 🥕carotenoid-covered 🧪algae, this Emulsion🤮 Goop🍦 Monster has actually adapted active🤼♂️ camouflage🍃 to 😏sneak👟 up and trap 🦝animal🐄 nutrients in its 💕pink sticky🍚 exterior. Often 🤷♀️confused🤷 with gelatinous forms of 💘pink💗 algae, the Halofloraemulsia Rosapolymer is 🤓something🤓 completely 🔺different🔺. Some people😧 think these guys are ugly😠, but I think they’re actually misunderstood😣, and their goop🍯 is good for you as it is harvested to produce 💞Pepto💞 Bismol💖.
8. Katy Perry
Okay 🤷♀️so maybe 😍Katy Perry🥰 doesn’t live in the Northern half of the 👵Great 🧂 Salt 🌊Lake💦 or could live in an 🌴environment🌳 comprised of 💦water💦 with at least 25% 🧂salinity🧂. But she’s 💘pink💖, she at least played in Salt🧂 Lake💦 City🌆 before, and it’s my🤷♀️ list💁♂️! I think there’s a chance🎲 she made the lake even 💖more 💘pink💞!
9. Lichenocorallium Floraspore (Pink Lichen-spore Coral)
Loosely 👨👩👧👦related👩👩👦👦 to the 🍄Fungihalophilus🍄 Coralliumrosa, these Lichen-spores💨 are coral-like fungal🍄 creatures that grow and spread🦵🧔♂️🦵 far onto land🛬. They roll🧻 around and get all dizzy😵💫 as they spread🦵🧔♂️🦵 their tendril🐙 networks💻 hundreds of yards away from their highly 🧂salty 💦watery birthing ☕️grounds. I know they look adorable and 👅taste like Skittles🍭 but be sure to never step on their 🤯heads. This isn’t because it’ll 😠hurt 😥them, they want you to 🦶step🐾 on their 👨🏻head👩 and release thousands and thousands of 💨spores💨 into the air🙌 which will likely give you chronic asthma😷!
10. Crustacea Salinocaridella Florachela Polyspina (Fred the crab)
Fred the 🦀Crab is a 📕novel📘 creature recently discovered in the 🧂salt 🏊♀️pools🎱 of the Great👵 Salt🧂 Lake💦 late last spring🌺. Their just 👶itty-bitty-teensy-weensy-sand🏝 crabs🦀 who 🚼critter-crawl🚼 from one environment🌲 to another. I just want one so bad! It’s too bad most get captured🤬 and studied by the 🪖military🎖 due to their ☣️neurotoxin☣ which can paralyze a full-sized 👨🏻🦰man👴🏼 with a tiny pin 📌prick👈.
So what if a lot of them are pretty ☠️deadly☠️? They are all just 🔥hot🔥 💖pink🌸 and adorable🥰 and make me want to study🤓 them even more! Who would have ever 🧐guessed we would have gotten creatures so 🤤cute, 😲wittle, and 😪adorable from something as 🏭industrial as a 🚂railroad🛤?!?
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