Pfizer Vaccine Side Effects Include Testing Positive for Pot: Report UK Youth

History was made this year when the screaming fast development of the COVID-19 was reported with its high 90% effectiveness. This week, the United Kingdom became the first to begin injecting its citizens by authorizing the Pfizer vaccine for emergency use. As it was just approved for use in the US, many worry there may be dangerous unintended side effects due to the speed of the development.

It is already reported that many will experience side effects including fatigue, headaches, muscle pain, chills, joint pain and fever. Some with extreme allergic reactions have even been advised to not take the vaccine. While many of the first recipients in the UK are its more vulnerable workers, some health care workers on the front line are receiving doses. That’s when we discovered a startling new side effect from this miracle drug.

Local London nurse after his positive drug test result
Local London nurse after his positive drug test result

“Yeah so after I got me vaccine I ‘ad the bloody normal symptoms yor’d expect. ‘eadaches, fever, muscle pain, then it all went away, i’n it?” One local ICU nurse reported. “I figured it were over and I were immune, i’n it?”

“A few days later, I were wiv me mates watchin’ the chuffin’ match. That’s wen I got a call ter come in for a drug test. I find out I tested positive for marijuana! Honest, guv! No way, right, that ‘as ter be a side effect they didn’t tell me about. Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you.” The local Londoner was sincere and additional reporting did confirm he did in fact test positive for pot.

Scientists are baffled by this surprising side effect and still have no explanations. The vaccine was specially designed to create an immune response and there are no previously recorded instances of an immune response creating THC in the blood stream as concentrated as it were in this London Nurse. Something about this mRNA vaccine had the effect of some real first class weed.

With this striking revelation many worry this is the start of many more side effects to come with the mass roll out of this and other vaccines. In an effort to determine the frequency of this side effect, the members of Shady Oaks retirement home in London is being mass tested for signs of THC in their blood stream. The results have not yet been concluded. Sources show that there is a pattern forming.

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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