Have you ever wondered what dinosaurs sounded like? If you’re a 90’s kid you likely were awed by the truly terrifying sounds of Jurassic Park. But, did dinosaurs really sound like violently dragging different types of pianos across tile floors? Well, with modern technology coming from the medical community (and the dissection of a few thousand birds), we’ve been able to reconstruct the vocal systems of 8 of the most popular dinosaurs using the same 3d printing technology used to find out what a mummy’s voice sounded like. The sounds below will truly shock you.
The Brontosaurus is a classic. It’s the first dinosaur seen by Dr. Alan Grant and his team in the park. This 70 ft long and 40,000 lbs giant sounds like you’d expect. Like most quadruped sauropod’s the Brontosaurus spoke in thunderous yips to warn others of danger. Our biological engineers had 2 options for how to recreate their “voice”, enlarge the tracheal model of the ostrich or connect 10,000 humming bird trachea in a horrifyingly massive horn-like chain. See if you can determine our scientific path.
The Triceratops is a long lost childhood friend (which is why the internet blew up when Steven Spielberg killed one on the set). Even though deep down you are slightly ashamed that you sometimes confuse this dinosaur with the very real endangered white-rhinoceros, you probably believe they sound the same. Well, my friend, you’d be wrong. With it’s short girthy neck, and restricted windpipe, the Triceratops sounds more like a human body builder whose chronic steroid use has lead to a potentially lucrative life as a high soprano.
The Stegosaurus is probably the most bad-ass of the dinosaurs. It’s got a Punk style with it’s sharp plate mohawk running down its spine that just commands respect. Plus, like something out of an 90’s grunge video, it has a massive nailed-baseball bat-like tail just ready to give the ol’ “whatever” to anything that gave it trouble. That independent “step off me” style has an equally legit voice to match. When you hear a Stegosaurus roar all you know is ‘I better get out of the way’.
Chris Pratt’s favorite, the Velociraptor, was by far the most difficult to model. The intricacies and complexities that allow what is essentially a duck call to have linguistic characteristics was a nightmare to get right. But, as Jurassic Park 3 has proven, you don’t want to screw up your raptor phrases especially when you’re carrying their stolen eggs in a granola-backpack. We went the extra mile on this one and got a bird call champion from Stuttgart Arkansas’s most recent champion from the duck festival.
5: Rubrus Dragonasaurus
The Rubrus Dragonasaurus is one of the lesser depicted dinosaurs in American Pop Culture but quite popular world wide in Chinese food establishments and renaissance fairs. You look at this giant lizard-snake concoction that might fly and you just think, I am going to die. Most scientists can’t decide on if this species was able to breath fire but they can agree that it was one bad ass of its time. Without any preconceived notions of personality, our team of researchers had a lot of trouble figuring out what this one would sound like. They ended up deciding that once the smoke had cleared the Rubrus Dragonasaurus would just be a regular old dude.
Nobody likes the Anklyosaurus. Armored back, kinda short, definitely fat, with a maraca tail as a weapon? We don’t even know why we bothered figuring out how this one even made it on the list. Not gonna lie, it was on the schedule and we kinda called this one in. I’d like to see you cross reference culture with dietary patterns, behavior and then model a larynx of a few scraps of fossil for 11$/hr.
Ah yes, the one that we are sure flies, the Pterodactyl. Way to leave it to this beauty to be terrifying and sour through the air at break neck speeds. They’re like twenty times larger than our modern day largest birds. That’s crazy! We couldn’t just use normal bird noises we had to find something more aerodynamically equivalent. That’s when it couldn’t have been more obvious. We figured there weren’t a lot of things that large that could fly so we found the closest real world equivalent thing that flew and tracked it down in its’ natural habitat.
Finally, the one you’ve been waiting for, the small-armed meme generator Tyrannosaurus-Rex. This is the iconic dinosaur from everyone’s childhood. You are probably, right now, flooded with thoughts a suave Jeff Goldblum in the back of a 90’s wrangler yelling as the beast gets closer and closer to it’s next meal. You can probably even hear the grand-piano-scraping-across-concrete roar of the T-Rex from Spielberg. Contrary to the others in this list, the iconic director got that part a little bit right.
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