Get ready Numberphiles for this year’s list of top ten sexiest prime couples. What makes a prime number sexy? All a couple of prime numbers needs to be is six apart from each other to make the official list for sexy numbers. But what makes a sexy prime number couple sexier than others? For this we have to go into the cultural ether. In a year where there aren’t movie premiers, music festivals or high visibility award ceremonies where we can really distinguish between which sexy couples are truly the sexiest, we have had to do much more research and insta-snooping than usual. This year it’s not a question about which sexy primes are in the headlines but which ones should be in the headlines.
1. 193 and 199
Who hasn’t loved watching love blossom between 193 and 199? 193’s a triple digit knockout and 199’s a marketing executive famous for making 200 look much smaller than it is. They wouldn’t normally make it on the list but their charity work for Terrariums for Teens has sent the science community a buzz. Wow, how could these prime numbers get any sexier? They’ve only grown closer through the years. Not even Andrica’s conjecture could limit their closeness.
2. 67 and 73
Look away conservative audience, that’s right we’re about to talk about the alluring and way too free with their bodies 67 and 73. Obviously rumors of each prime number’s relationship with 79 in a sexy triplet has been the talk of the numberphile community. What did they do? Hide their romance like they were ashamed of it? Nope! They came out in public as a sexy prime triplet. Welcome to the alphabet gang 67 and 73!
3. 433 and 439.
I don’t think we’ll ever have a year with 433 and 439 on our list. Every rational number small and large dreams of being as sexy as these two. Many thought they would fall out of relevance when absolutely baseless rumors spread that 433 was divisible by a number other than one and itself, but we all know the paparazzi just likes a good story. We’ll always stand by our favorite prime couple.
4. 7 and 13
Typically a b-list prime couple, 7 and 13 climbed up the ladder this year when they revealed a small sexy addition to their couple. Who hasn’t spent their evenings obsessively scrolling through 7’s gram feed riddled with the cutest pictures of 19. I know my Thursday afternoons would not be complete without crushing over the great time 7 and 13 have after bringing 19 to the dog park or 19 chasing her tail. What a great addition bringing the has-been prime couple back to the top.
5. 311 and 317.
311 is a super model and 317 is a billionaire. These two primes absolutely couldn’t get any sexier. So what his money comes from oil industry Russian oligarchs with so many fabulous vacations to Western Europe. A girl like that is lucky to have a man that can treat her so well. With money like that she can wear whatever she wants, go wherever she wants, she could even get bribed into top sexiest lists on prestigious fake science journals. What a lucky girl!
6. 37 and 43.
The bad boy and bad girl of the bunch has always been 37 and 43. This young prime couple has been tearing up the social scene. Their online influence has had many online developers itching to have these two sexy primes in their unique factorization!
7. p = (520461 × 255931+1) × (98569639289 × (520461 × 255931-1)2-3)-1 and p+6 = (520461 × 255931+1) × (98569639289 × (520461 × 255931-1)2-3)+5.
The true will-they-or-won’t-they prime couple was finally confirmed as a couple and drop dead sexy last October by Peter Kaiser. With 50,539 digits, this couple is not only body positive, they are totally in love. How could a couple have so many digits in common without everyone just saying awwwww.
8. 23 and 29.
Every year 23 and 29 continue to surprise us. Put most prime couples together and you have Goldbach’s Conjecture. Put 23 and 29 together and you have a truly wholesome relationship. Taking a break from 23’s acting career and 29’s stand up comedy, this couple has dedicated 2020 to outreach programs providing socks for the homeless. That isn’t a joke. If you have socks you’re not wearing consider donating them.
9. 103 and 109.
No one thought the lead singer of a math rock band would want anything to do with anyone who wasn’t a Fermat number. One fateful weekend later and 109 fell hard for this wonderful prime. In an interview with numberphile weekly we learned how they fell for each other over a common interest in mini golf and the p-adic order. Leave it to a math rock drummer to be dorky enough to fall in love over mini golf. We love you both 103 and 109.
10. 233 and 239.
This couple is a personal favorite of mine. I’ve watched 233 and 239 for what seems like most of my life. I don’t know what my teenage years would have been like if it weren’t for 239’s grunge period or my childhood without 233’s PBS educational program. When I found out they were a couple a couple years ago I just about died. Now they keep being the sexiest couple in the news with their helpful PSA’s on the advantages of teaching your kids digital hygiene and the dangers our reading too much click bait.
If you enjoyed this article please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our facebook group here, or the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit for weekly content.