Financial Analysis and Incentive Structure of Perpetual Debenture at New Car Dealerships

Richard Heade, PhD

 Department of Implied Mathematics, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA


For decades economists, mathematicians and sociologists have been analyzing the unnatural financial phenomenon playing out in modern new car dealerships. A mixed team of graduate research students paid in experience at the Cranberry Lemon University Department of Implied Mathematics and Department of Sociopathy have uncovered the surprisingly simple structure of the “power triangle” that allows car salesman and dealerships, who always “have just the car for you” in their lot, to sell their inventory to customers at a financial loss yet somehow create wealth. This research paper provides the evidence, both empirically and pathologically, that illustrates how one can “practically steal” from the dealership who is “losing money on this deal, so you better sign the poorly scribbled signature line now and commit to $40,500 on this one of a kind limited edition Toyota RAV 4 Hybrid with the Gucci package leather trim and no floor mats, because even though it is 30 minutes past closing I can’t promise that your dream vehicles (of which there are like 20,000 in existence) will be here tomorrow at 0800 when we open and at this amazing deal”. The key finding on our RAV 4 purchase was that we weren’t just car owners but business owners as well.

Keywords: Power-Triangle, Scheme, 2021 Toyota Rav 4, Pyramid, Sociopath, Mustang Steve

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Published by S Rohrenjean

S. Rohrenjean is an Aerospace Engineer who has specialized in Canard Aesthetics and Reynolds Determinacy. With essentially a minor in Business Ethics, he began his professional endeavors as an undergrad selling access to his hoard of previous semesters Aero exams. Success came easy as most Aero professors concern themselves with the internal dialog of "why didn't I become a EE?" and "EE isn't real engineering, plasma induced laminar flow will change the world!", and thus never change their exam questions. Now, as an unemployed engineer who can explain in detail every aspect of Kutta condition but can't code "hello world" in anything but Matlab, he is working on the only true career progression of an Aero Engineer, tenure track professor.

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