Novel Techniques for Random Number Generation: Toddler Behavioral Sampling

Dr. Melba McCormick1

1 Department of Advance Physics in Motherhood, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA


Random number generation is the backbone of any type of simulation. Due to the limitation of mechanical devices’ deterministic systems, pseudo-random number generators are helpful but aren’t truly random. They aren’t as random as something quite as unpredictable as background radiation, electrical noise or even the behavior of a toddler. In the name of scientific inquiry, a puritanical view of the term ‘randomness,’ and most importantly an excuse to let me look after my kid during the workday without paying for an expensive daycare; this paper aims to develop and evaluate the use of sampling Toddler’s to generate a random sequences of numbers. The three methodologies are developed involving sampling whether a toddler will eat something, another measuring their artistic capability, and the most useful method involving a contraption utilizing a dome shaped cage, a toddler, and a cat that does not want to be played with. Each of the methods are shown to be truly random enough to justify bringing my kid to work. 

Keywords: Random Number Generation, Math, Toddlers, Motherhood, Statistics, Dinosaur Themed Parties

Rest of the article coming to a print book soon by Packt Publishing! I don’t know how soon yet. Please follow us on our socials or come back later for the release date and the link to the amazon link to the book. It’ll actually edited by someone other than myself! I’ve sold out to the publishers, sorry not sorry, still gonna post new articles.

If you enjoyed this fake article and want more scientifically backed relationship advice, please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our facebook group hereor the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit for weekly content.

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: