Remove an Outlier

You’ve pored through your options and it looks like you have four different chimps in the study that you could remove and get a publishable result. If you’re going to remove one, you better pick a Chimp you think you’ll be able to justify in the paper. The four are…


chimpanzee sitting on gray stone in closeup photography during daytime

Barnabas, while proving to be smart has been observed to be a rebel. In all past experiments, he has rarely ever performed as desired. He is on average more anti social than any of the other chimps and regularly starts fights.


hands animal zoo black

Cornelius isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. He performed extremely poorly in both stages of the experiment and even decreased in performance while the Ska was playing. You know from Dr. Smyth’s encouragement that there’s no way the Ska messed him up, it must have just been a random coincidence and Cornelius shouldn’t be in any more experiments due to his ineptness.


chimpanzee on green grass

Nester really just doesn’t give a shit what he’s doing. The only way to motivate him is through food and hot monkey tail. Unfortunately, because it was found to be unethical to use external motivators in the data collection, Nester just stood there and caused a ruckus with Barnabas.

Corn Flake

view ape thinking primate

It’s been shown in prior experiments by Dr. Smyth that Corn Flake is much too intellectual to enjoy Ska. He’s more of an abstract jazz type who likes more advanced poly rhythms. On multiple occasions, the repetitive up beat poppy sound scape of second and third wave Ska bands have sent Corn Flake into existential dread. Is this repetitive nature a sign that this is all there is to life? Wake up, eat sleep, poop? Upon reading the report, it almost feels unethical to force Corn Flake to listen to Ska when he could be journaling while re-listening to some Charles Mingus, Coltrane or one of the other greats. Out of all of the chimps, Corn Flake screwed up your results the most due to his disdain of this music genre.

Who do you remove? They all will make your results publishable.

Remove Barnabas

Remove Cornelius

Remove Nester

Remove Corn Flake

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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