Can you help Dr. Smyth P-Hack his way to a Publishable Result? A scientific choose your own adventure

You’re a fresh new student assistant who just got accepted at your dream job of assisting the famous Dr. Elias Goodall Smyth in his research. You’ve been working your way through the grueling zoology program at Cranberry Lemon University. This summer you finally got the opportunity to work in the labs instead of going back to work the register at Panera Bread like you’ve done since high school.

He’s famous for doing real research with real Chimpanzees at the Pittsburgh zoo and you’re going to get to help! Do you accept?

Accept the Research Position!

Go back to working at Panera Bread. This year you get a 2$/Hr managers bonus because of how well you were able to upsell bread bowls last year.

Go on a European vacation instead. Working’s for the poor!