Markov Models for Ruining your Weekend: A Comparative Study

Dr. Stanely Yelnets III1

1 Department of Human Misery, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA


American’s capability to ruin their own weekends has been struggling over the last two decades. Through changing demographics, young and middle aged Americans have been shifting to ways of life where weekends are so enjoyable that many do not prefer to work 50-60 hour weeks at the office [1]. The record number of young professionals failing to come to the office more exhausted and stressed out keeps growing. If nothing changes, the antacid market will fail by the year 2026! This paper provides three novel Markov models which have the potential to ruin your weekend leaving you more exhausted and stressed out than when it began on Friday afternoon. These models will be evaluated through Physical Exhaustion in Inverse-Sabbath units, Chores Avoided, and Existential Dread in Sunday Scary’s

Keywords: Markov Models, State Transition, Weekend, Household Chores 

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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