Dr. Chad Broman1
1 Department of Applied Psychological Machine Learning, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
Abstract
Despite recent advances in active listening, date night, and extended pillow talk; it is becoming increasingly more difficult to forecast Tiffany’s mood. With more and more Playstation 5 exclusive games, it is becoming increasingly important to determine Tiffany’s mood before purchasing a new game and playing online Co-op with the boys every evening for a week straight. This paper aims to determine the optimal forecast model of my girlfriend’s drastically growing mood swings by comparing simple moving averages, to sextuple exponential smoothing and even an overly complicated Machine Learning model. Despite initial time-series analysis showing non-stationarity and highly seasonal mood swings, the more simple models provided less riskier forecast predictions when planning a three day bender after Matt got divorced.
Keywords: Relationships, Time Series Analysis, Forecast Modeling, Playstation 5 Exclusives
If you would like to read the rest of this article, it is a chapter of our new book How to Prove Anything: 30 absurd research papers no one else was brave enough to publish which can be purchased here on amazon of from Packt directly
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Because so many people seem to like this one so much, we put it on a coffee mug for purchase
Chad and Tiffany Follow On Research!
Also check out Tiffany’s article Behavioral Conditioning Methods to Stop my Boyfriend from Playing The Witcher 3 Chad’s follow on article Sub-Nyquist Sampling While Listening to my Girlfriend or their first joint paper Who Should do the Dishes? A Transportation Problem Solution which will be coming to a print book soon with this article, so please follow for further announcements on when! Or the most recent full article installment Freudian Psychoanalysis of my Boyfriend’s Gun Collection by Tiffany. UPDATE: these articles were deemed too offensive by our editors to include in the book 🤷♂️ the toxic relationship of Chad and Tiffany will just live on the internet
If you REEEEALY love the content, for the equivalent price of a Chipotle Burrito, chips and Queso, you could buy our new book Et Al with over 20 hand picked Jabde articles for your reading pleasure, it’s the perfect Christmas/Birthday gift for confusing your unsuspecting family members! Order on amazon here: https://packt.link/at4bw Please rate and review so that you can brag to your friends about having opinions or showcase your excellent taste in reading material!
I almost pissed my pants. Truly truly LOL!!! And a TeX formatted paper, using the .cls file from The Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology too!
via a link in HackerNews.
Wow, it’s so cool!!!
That is admirable. However, are you considering conducting research with a broader range of data? We’re interested in this because it enables us (specifically, the man) to accurately predict what occurred with our girlfriend. This, in my opinion, is a significant distribution with us; by the way, many thanks for your excellent and interesting work.
The last we heard from Chad’s proposal on this data collection scheme, he wrote that Tiffany was not interested in adding a third
An interesting research
“purchasing a new game and playing online Co-op with the boys every evening for a week straight” – Don’t need a paper to predict the effects of this lol.
comedic genius
Loved it! 😀
Awesome
OMG, u’re so genius!
Hohoho it’s genius idea!
no words, interesting read:)
I am still in awe! is this for real?
Very interesting research! Comical analysis.
Awesome piece … I’m Impressed
Hi here can someone help me out on my school project
I don’t know how to go on with it, although I was just checking online and i came across this site..
The topic “Depression prediction using social media posts”
Please i just need help on this i have just a week
Really awesome!
I really think all of you have too much spare time reading and writing such banality. Get a life!
I really think this might be one of the best things I’ve seen. Your commitment to writing brings me joy. Never stop! Become one with the keyboard!
Very fun and creative ! On the side note, open communication is all you need 🙂