Beatrice Ándura: Department of Questionable Psychology, University of Lower Upperham, Adam Lear: Department of Even More Questionable Psychology, University of Lower Upperham, and Frederik Reud: St. Lucia’s School for the Blind and Deaf Children in Lower Upperham
While Freud’s theory of psychosexual development is the prevailing one, even a cursory glance at various ‘yo mama’ jokes allows us to gain insight into the psyche of the author of the joke. Every ‘yo mama’ joke conveys major, recognizable themes that are connected to every stage of psychosexual development. In this paper we will try to explain why one of the most popular types of jokes can be used to extrapolate a person’s level of maturity.
With the progressive development of human society, psychometric methods of the past become less useful. By careful examination of ‘yo mama’ jokes overheard by department members in a local cafeteria and multiple sleepless nights following this traumatic event, a theory arose which ultimately seeks to dethrone Freud’s outdated doctrines as the primary way to measure psychosexual development. After careful deliberations and a bottle or two of Chardonnay, a simple yet elegant link has been established between commonly understood stages of psychosexual development and types of ‘yo mama’ jokes (figure 1).
Freud’s stages of psychosexual development are as follows:1
- Oral stage, which prioritizes usage of mouth in satisfaction of one’s libido, and can be correlated to the attribute of yo mama’s fat content.
- Anal stage, in which one derives pleasure from defecating, or excreting other types of waste. During this stage, one learns to share the effects of one’s work, be it faecal in nature or not. While the stage remains focused on sharing, it is also inherently connected with yo mama’s intelligence – both can be assessed as shit.
- Phallic stage, when one starts to identify themselves with their sex and differentiating between sexual organs. From the resentment and conflict arising in this stage, one can posit that yo mama would be called ugly by the members of opposite sex.
- Latent stage, which slows down development of sexual impulses and sublimates the remaining energy towards other goals, just like when yo mama slows down because she’s so damn old.2
- Genital stage, in which one is fully developed psychosexually and can go out to do other tasks, as when someone stops telling these shitty yo mama jokes.
Students from the neighbouring primary school and from the Department of Engineering of University of Lower Upperham were corralled into a testing room using a bag of Cheetos as an incentive. During this stage of the experiment, some misbehaving engineering students had to be reprimanded using a printed-out picture of an ordinary bar of soap.3
The group (n = something like 40) was then randomly divided into roughly ten four-people subgroups and prompted (by shaking the bag of Cheetos) to start exchanging ‘yo mama’ jokes between members. Unwilling groups had the bag of Cheetos wiggled in front of them as an encouragement. After around 48 h of constant testing, and summary devouring of the Cheetos bag by testing personnel, the subjects were released. Collected transcription of jokes exchanged during testing were divided into five categories, based on class of jape.
After discarding the collected data multiple times due to arrival of police units, and retrieving them from a nearby trash can afterwards, notes were hastily rewritten on a fresh piece of paper with coloured markers to make them look more professional.
After a booze-filled celebration of a successful experiment, a sleeper-agent at the Department of Physics was activated in order to retrieve a calculator and perform complicated mathematics of division and percentage calculations. With these meticulous calculations done, the agent was hastily stuffed into a nearby closet.
While there is a discussion to be had about the mental development of engineering students, the overall data presents a real possibility of measuring psychosexual development of both children and adolescents without referring to Freud, who really should be left alone with his bags of cocaine.
About the Authors
Àndura is an experienced researcher with over 20 submitted articles on methods of coercing children into experiments, most of which were rejected due to ‘moral considerations’, ‘ethics’ or ‘this is just child abuse’. Lear has been banned from every local pub due to his tendency to ‘read minds’‡ and guilt tripping patrons for free alcoholic drinks with truly scientific stubbornness. In his free time, Reud is the conductor for his school’s choir.
We would like to acknowledge all mothers, whose contribution to the joke lexicon has enabled this research to take place, and Cheetos for providing a perfect bait, suitable for testing children and emaciated students.
Notes and references
- Freud, S. Three essays on the theory of sexuality. 1905, p. 123- 246
- Wigglin, D. Comparing mid-air velocity of the elderly and children. Journal of Debatable Aeronautics 2020, vol. 2, p. 30-52
- Real soap bar, along with deodorant spray was saved in case of an emergency shutdown of the experiment
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