Are you really an Engineer/Programmer?

2427

Are you really an Engineer/Programmer?

You may have a degree in some niche STEM field, but if you really understand how to work with Technology correctly, you'll obviously know the answer to these seemingly simple questions.

1 / 6

You’re an engineer right? What’s wrong with my car? It's making a noise I've never heard before and sometimes doesn't start if it's too cold outside.

I don’t know, oil change? The check engine light is on but I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Meemaw, for the last time, I am a systems engineer, I don’t know how cars work let alone yours! Let me know when you want to waterfall develop some software. I'd just take it to a mechanic

It probably needs a new Johnson Rod

Maybe buy something newer than a 94 Camry

2 / 6

Why can’t I get my email working? I can’t get in contact with Nancy. You told me you know how to code right?

Wow why would you still use Hotmail?

Do you not remember your password, can you use your phone as a recovery?

Idk, you couldn’t afford my help anyway

3 / 6

Hey, you know how to program, and I know a few things about the stock market. Why don’t we team up and game the stock market by training a program to predict which stocks will do best based on historical data and putting money in those stocks. That can easily be done with Machine Learning or Artificial Intelligence or whatever right? What do you think?

No thanks

Do you know how many people get this ‘oRiGiNaL’ idea? Basically everybody thinks of this and that’s not how the stock market works! It’s way more complicated. Those big financial firms hire teams of math PhD’s to do this, do you think I’m smarter than a team of math PhD’s?

I guess it’s theoretically possible with some open sourced packages I’ve been looking at to run a rudimentary prediction model and automate the process. It wouldn't be that much effort.

4 / 6

Why is my computer so slow? Do you think it’s a problem with the Motherboard?

Grandpa, what did you do to this monstrosity? Is this why your facebook keeps getting hacked? I am not touching that. I might get my computer infected from touching this thing. You should destroy this now and get a new Identity.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Is this still Windows XP? Maybe you need a newer operating system for one. Second, what are all these tool bars on your internet explorer?

5 / 6

How do I get this app to work on my iPhone? It keeps wanting me to log on.

You shouldn’t be downloading this app anyway. It’s freemium software that just wants to take your money. All it does is take in micro payments to fund a shitty game by using casino tactics.

Okay, so what’s your apple ID? It’s probably your email. You don’t remember your password? Is it Luke’s birthday or your home address?

Grandpa, why are you downloading free poker online, you said you would quit your gambling addiction, does Meemaw know about this? Those aren’t just chips, you’re on a fixed income!

Why do you still use an iPhone? Androids are objectively better.

6 / 6

The Clicker doesn't work. Can you fix my TV remote? I can’t get the baseball game on! It should be on channel 13.

I didn’t realize people were still paying for cable, even with Tivo and all. They probably aren’t letting you watch this game because it’s on some exclusive online sports package.

Who’s playing? Why don’t we watch it at a bar or something? I travel home to spend time with you from my busy schedule.

How on earth do you have six TV remotes and one tv?

Why don’t you get an amazon fire stick, gaming console, or something? It would be way easier to stream that way.

Your score is

If you enjoyed this quiz, are angry about the results or would like to brag about your score to your friends for general clout please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our facebook group here, or the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit for weekly content.

If you REEEEALY love the content, for the equivalent price of a Chipotle Burrito, chips and Queso, you could buy our new book Et Al with over 20 hand picked Jabde articles for your reading pleasure, it’s the perfect Christmas/Birthday gift for confusing your unsuspecting family members! Order on amazon here: https://packt.link/at4bw Please rate and review so that you can brag to your friends about having opinions or showcase your excellent taste in reading material!

Like this:

Published by B McGraw

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

Share this:

Like this:

Published by B McGraw

Leave a ReplyCancel reply