CRISPR Baby’s First Words Successfully “Hello World”

New sources confirm that the first child with CRISPR edited genes has spoken her first words “Hello World” confirming that the procedure does in fact work. While the first CRISPR baby’s first words were “Ma-Ma,” “Da-Da,” and “Segmentation fault (core dumped)” these first words were planned out and have shown that the gene editing of embryos can actually change a human’s genomic makeup.

CRISPR or Clustered Regularly Interspaced Short Palindromic Repeats is a long acronym used to describe a gene sequence most known for gene editing. The CRISPR gene editing technique is revolutionary in its field and may be used in the future to treat genetic disorders, prevent diseases, and most importantly create a team of super humans capable of finally beating the intergalactic globetrotters basketball team. Of course, the method still needs to be tested and verified and that’s just why this baby’s first words were so important. You can’t expect a complex technique like this to immediately work. Incremental steps are required before we can make a baby with better basketball skills than Ethan “Bubblegum” Tate.

CRISPR Baby Debug Logging Technique
CRISPR Baby Debug Logging Technique: Edited, Mjeltsch, CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0, via Wikimedia Commons Changes to image were made

In order to prove that the genes have been edited, a piece of genetic code was inserted within the baby’s speech controlling gene. Once the baby is about 8 months old, the code is activated and should make the child say ‘Hello World‘ as is tradition for any type of coding method. In previous attempts, the script either didn’t appear to compile in the child’s DNA or a mis-formatted string message was accidentally used which caused a segmentation fault giving the baby hiccups for three minutes.

The “Hello World” diagnostic code isn’t the only debugging code edited in. As the child ages more and learns more words, the designer baby prototype will say a more elaborate diagnostic message each birthday starting at the age of six. In this yearly heartbeat message, the child will mention each chromosome and 25 deletions-insertions that still exists. This will ensure that the genetic editing is permanent.

Not everybody agrees that this is ethical. Some argue that it is too invasive and inhumane for the child and that it would be better to output an encoded barcode of freckles. If it does indeed continue to work, future prototype designer babies could find themselves reciting kilobytes of gene editing logging a day to verify every CRISPR editing feature, some alarmist experts theorize. Despite the controversy, gene editing is not going to go away and this is just that first step to being able to successfully eradicate certain diseases and finally one up the steroid days of baseball.

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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