In a tactical move soon to hit all software companies everywhere, a group of office managers has begun adding debugging chairs (a.k.a. toilets) to any programmer’s desk. Efficiency experts are really patting their backs on this one. “When we realized that each one of our employees was spending on average 45 minutes every day in the bathroom on what they’ve been referring to in our slack channels as their “debugging chair” I immediately saw the efficiency improvement opportunity.” spoke project manager Chet Dinsdale “With our turnover rate, we spend at least 30% of our programming man hours on debugging legacy code no one here seems to understand, having a programmer’s debugging chair in the bathroom so far away from their computer must the be the root cause. Besides, in the bathroom, there would be no mechanism for top-down feedback or leadership by walking around. Two of my favorite things!”
Not only does the cubicle desk debugging chair allow for active debugging at the chair, it also allows for each employee to have their very own debugging chair. No more waiting for a chance to figure out where that memory leak is just because someone else is on the chair. “In a traditional office, about fifty employees would share two or three debugging chairs. I had no idea it was such a limiting resource! Thankfully management found the solution after stumbling on an internet joke. Otherwise, all I heard about was pay raises or the need for more ultra-wide monitors, they already have one at their desk so I have no idea why any of the employees want more. More than one monitor is against office policy,” reported Sharon a local Pennsylvania office manager.
While office managers are giving themselves a round of applause, some of the coders are less enthusiastic. “I’ve gotta stop sending memes in the office slack channel,” commented software developer Jerry Polutz of the software development company championing the debugging chair idea. “I just forget how little management understands how programming works. I should have known after I saw the new sprint schedule. Maybe our own “debugging chair” would work if we were left alone while on it. I know they mean well, but can’t we just have an extra monitor without having to re-write office policy?”
Despite criticism from the employees, the desk-side debugging chair, alongside working from home, snacks, and wearing pajamas to work, seems likely to be one of the next office amenities to keep coders from jumping to higher salaries.
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