COWS all tHE way Down (COWSHED) I: Could cow based planetoids support methane atmospheres?

group white and black cow

William J. Roper1,2, Todd L. Cook1, Violetta Korbina1, Jussi K. Kuusisto1, Roisin O’Connor1, Stephen D. Riggs1, David J. Turner1, Reese Wilkinson1

1 Astronomy Centre, University of Sussex, Falmer, Brighton BN1 9QH, UK

2 Department of extra-planetary Beef Expansion, Cranberry Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA USA


More often than not a lunch time conversation will veer off into bizarre and uncharted territories. In rare instances these frontiers of conversation can lead to deep insights about the Universe we inhabit. This paper details the fruits of one such conversation. In this paper we will answer the question: How many cows do you need to form a planetoid entirely comprised of cows, which will support a methane atmoosphere produced by the planetary herd? We will not only present the necessary assumptions and theory underpinning the cow-culations, but also present a thorough (and rather robust) discussion of the viability of, and implications for accomplishing, such a feat.

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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