You Decided to Investigate Dr. Smyth

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So you decide that Dr. Smyth’s research is just too strange. In between him pushing you to do unethical research and his unhealthy obsession with Ska music, there’s just something off about this Cranberry Lemon tenured professor. You first start googling his name only to find an impressive list of publications in primatology. Looking at a list of his papers, he publishes significant results two or three times a year! There must be more to this man than his research. Dr. Elias Goodall Smyth, the man, the mystery.

You search his wikipedia page. Nothing, nothing except that impressive list of publications in chronological order. For a professor with such a big reputation in primatology, it’s odd that there’s nothing on his early life or academic back ground. He isn’t even in a Nova special! At least someone must have been as curious as I am to research into this man’s past and post it on his wiki.

Upon perusing through the chronological list of research you notice something odd. From 1998-2009, all of his work is typical primatology research and then all of a sudden in 2010, everything begins to involve Ska bands. Does Ska make chimps better dancers? Can Bonobo’s follow these bass lines? What happens to an ape when they hear these dirty brass back up lines? The Orangutan Chill-Out Paradox: Can music be too chill for orangutans?

One after another, he finds a dumber research hypothesis and all of the results turned out to be significant! But how, and most importantly why? What happened in 2009-2010 which brought him to Ska? What do you do?

Give up and just go back to your old summer job

Go to the local library and pore through newspaper records

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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