The Local Library

row of books in shelf

You arrive at the local library, not quite sure where to start. You’re a child of the internet and this is not what you’re used to. You don’t even know if the Dewey Decimal system can get you out of this one.

“Can I help you young [man/woman/alphabet gang type]?” an old woman from behind the front desk asks.

“Yeah, I’m uh, looking for newspaper clippings, anything from 2009-2010 regarding research incidents at Cranberry Lemon University. Local papers ma’am. There are just answers I’m looking for and I don’t know if I’ll find them, but I think this is my best shot.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t be the first person to come to this library looking for answers. That’s why I love my job. Follow me. Do you know what micro-film is?”

You follow the old woman to drawers filled with something called micro-film and she shows you how to use a machine which can read it. It’s organized perfectly and you start methodically going through each of the reels of micro-film of newspapers 2009-2010 in search of something, anything.

You spend hours, you even get a new job offer to record the footage into an electronic database, but you would only get paid in old magazines and book marks so you turn it down. Finally you come to an article that may hold the answer you’re looking for.

In the fall semester of 2009 the prominent Zoologist department head at Cranberry Lemon was suddenly and mysteriously fired from her job. No reason listed. When you read the name you are stunned. Nancy Hulligan. Going back to Dr. Smyth’s extensive work, many of his papers were co-written by a Nancy Hulligan. Then suddenly, she disappears just before all of Dr. Smyth’s research becomes Ska themed?

You rush to the front desk. Is there some way I could find someone, someone by the name of Nancy Hulligan? She used to teach here!

“Oh, Nancy, yes, she actually still comes back from time to time. Now I know I’m not supposed to give out information like this but you seem like a nice [boy/girl/alphabet gang type] so I suppose I can make an exception”

She gives you Nancy’s home address. What do you do?

Give up and go back to your old job

Find Nancy Hulligan, find out what happened

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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