The Sarah Palin Mandela Effect: How America Believes in a Fictional Politician

Dr. Booker DeWitt1 Dr. R. Sanchez2

1 Department of Paranormal Psychology, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

2 Department of Multiverse Physics, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

Abstract

After more than thirteen years since the turbulent 2008 presidential election, some people still believe that Sarah Palin is a real person. It seems far-fetched that people would believe that a gun totin, tea partying, Alaska Governor,  from the North with a strong midwestern accent and an even more aggressive up-do would have been John McCain’s running mate. Regardless of how fantastical it is, many Americans are confident that she was not only a real person and not just a Tina Fey SNL character but did in fact run as Vice President with the war hero John McCain against Obama and Biden in 2008 instead of the easy to forget Ohio Congressional representative Jordan Dorf. This paper addresses two psychological theories and one metaphysical in a search for how so many people are convinced that she isn’t a figment of our imaginations. After cross analysis of our study, we found that the human psychological polling was totally rigged from the beginning and that despite which 2008 alternate universe was visited, there were always constants and variables. There was always a progressive Democratic senator. There was always a recession. There was always a republican war hero, and there was always a fictional or real Sarah Palin. 

Keywords: False Memory, Mandela Effect, Sarah Palin, Fuzzy Trace Theory, Tina Fey, Alternative Realities, Confabulation

1. Introduction

The political fight for the soul of post Bush America in 2008 tested and strained the war fatigued and economically concerned Americans of the late aughties. At the dawn of the tea party, it was natural for the cultural mileau to concoct a larger than life character such as Sarah Palin. First only existing as early web 1.0 internet memes, and then most crucially, as a SNL character played famously by Tina Fey, the maverick Sarah Palin entered the imagination of the American People. 

Through years of myth, legend and a distorted view of what exactly happened during the 08’ financial crisis, the maverick politician became something much more than a hilarious SNL cold open character. She became real. Not just in people’s imaginations but in their actual memories. 

This is what many internet scientists have begun calling the Mandela effect. While there is not much evidence for when this happened, an internet poll conducted this last year revealed that 98% of adults over the age of 24 believe that Sarah Palin is a real person. Normalised by age groups 8-24 who were not old enough during the 08’ election and replied “Who is Sarah Palin?” it is clear that this is the most prevalent Mandela effect known to the cultural meleui of the internet [1]. 

Fig 1: Tina Fey moments before shouting “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT
Fig 1: Tina Fey moments before shouting “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT” Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons 

1.1 Background

Coined by the internet paranormal consultant and ghost hunter Fiona Broome, the Mandela Effect is what happens when a large group of people share the same specific false memory. This is famously named after the phenomenon that occurred when the South African anti-apartheid revolutionary Nelson Mandela died in 2013, when most adults thought that he died in prison in the 1980s. But he didn’t die in prison, he went on to help end Apartheid in South Africa and even became the president of the country in the 90s. 

Fig 2: A very Not dead Nelson Mandela in 1993
Fig 2: A very Not dead Nelson Mandela in 1993

Ever since the effect became popularised, many more Mandela effects were observed and turned into internet clickbait such as the Top 20 Mind-Blowing Examples of the Mandela Effect, or the Top 10 Craziest Examples of the Mandela Effect. While most of the effects are collectively misremembered movie quotes, misspelt things in popular culture or whether or not Curious George had a tail, this psychological effect has blown mind after mind with each listicle of crazy examples. While some insane scientists believe that it may be the cause of suggestibility when attempting to recall a fuzzy gist memory, those reasonable researchers believe that it is a result of alternative realities that we are remembering instead of the reality that we do live in. 

This mass hysteria is something that seems to be taking place in the collective memory of John McCain’s running mate. Many voters have completely blocked out any memory of his actual running mate Ohio Congressional representative Jordan Dorf. Jordan was picked for his even temperament and the advantage of his popularity in the even more boring and awful state of Ohio. When he didn’t present any gaffe’s or comedy material for the budding Muleugh of the internet or SNL, the character of Sarah Palin was invented as a stand in joke Vice Presidential nominee. The rest is fabricated history.

1.2 Purpose

Academic Curiosity and I haven’t published anything in years. This has nothing to do with my YouTube LoFi drama about a similar subject. 

2. Potential Explanations

Sarah Palin is far from remembering how Fruit Loops or the Flinstones are spelled. She wasn’t just a personality. Remembering the entire Cultural Millaeu of the time of the heated Obama McCain election missed the entire outrage of the right at the bail out of the big corporations for those of the right wing. In order to explain how so many people have come to believe in her existence this paper explores three theories.

2.1 Political Confabulation

The first theory to be tested is that the large number of McCain supporters were left confused by the outcome of the election. When asked how a distinguished war hero could have lost to non-American, Islamic, socialist like Obama, many could not recall and began to remember how awful Sarah Palin was as a running mate. Many even partially blame the loss of the election on Tina Fey’s portrayal [2].  Filling in the blanks, where there was really no memory how McCain lost, this was where many started to believe the fiction was actually real. 

In Confabulation, when a person is asked to recall something and there is no memory, many times a confabulation or false memory can take the place of the blank. While similar to lying, confabulation is something with no intent to deceive because the confabulator believes they aren’t even lying [3]. This is often seen in people with distorted world views and self perceptions. It was most extensively studied by Dr. Tiffany Love who wanted to determine why her boyfriend never accepted the blame for dying in an online Call of Duty game [4]. She discovered that he convinced himself that everybody was using aimbots when in reality, he just needed to get good. 

2.2 Mass Fuzzy Trace Theory

The second theory to be studied is Fuzzy Trace Theory (FTT). In FTT, the idea of Dual Process Theory is used to break memory down into a Gist memory and a Verbatim memory. In Gist memory, someone would remember the general idea and meaning. In Verbatim memory, a person would remember actual details like a specific line from a movie or song.

In terms of explaining Sarah Palin’s existence in the cultural Millou, FTT would easily explain why most Americans do not have a very strong verbatim memory of Jordan Dorf and his plan to fix America’s infrastructure like every other US politician. His political platform, appearance, and vibe was so generic as are most VP picks that no Verbatim memory was often ever developed. 

Through the power of suggestion, the Zany Caribou Barbee character Sarah Palin began to fill in the gap in everyone’s memory that Jordan Dorf left totally vacant.  This theory is only possible because Jordan left such an empty impression on people that there wasn’t even much of a gist memory to fill in those gaps. Tina Fey just became the most memorable Verbatim memory to fill in that gap similar to a study in which we fooled subjects at Cranberry Lemon into thinking the show Friends was funny [5]. 

2.3 Sarah Palin is Real in an Alternative Universe

The final and most widely accepted explanation for the Mandela effect is that Sarah Palin is actually real, just not in our universe. We call this the Multiverse Mandela Effect Theory (MMET). Most observers of the Mandela effect believe that these small differences most people collectively misremember aren’t a mistake or a false memory at all. As explained by Paranormal expert and El ChupaCabra environmental activist Esteban Hernández “When we believe that the monopoly man has a monocle, we’re not just confusing him with Mr. Peanut. We are in fact remembering a true image of the monopoly man from the alternative universe, or universes where he does indeed have a monocle.” [6]  

Many critics of this theoretical explanation for Sarah Palin’s existence and the Mandela effect would not make sense if there is an infinite amount of universes. Multiverse critic and infamous under tipper Steven Yeltz writes in his research “If there were an infinite amount of universes causing the Mandela effect why wouldn’t there be some bone planet out there where there are like skeletons and we’re remembering their skeleton civilization where they pay for things in bones and stuff huh?” [7]

Figure 3: Multiverse Memory Theory Explained
Figure 3: Multiverse Memory Theory Explained

As Explained by Figure 3, Steven’s bone world critique, as do his tips, come quite short. In the overall MMET explanation further developed in [8], very similar universes in geometrical memory distance have a much more free flow of inter metaverse memories. For instance, the worlds in which Sarah Palin is real, and the ones in which she is just an SNL character are so close in reality that those universes trade memories all the time. Likewise, the bone planet, while some memories may be sent across the multiverse, is much less likely to create a widespread Mandela effect like a Sarah Palin world would. 

3. Data Collection: A Trip to an Alternate Reality

Two methods were chosen to test each of the three theories. For the first two less interesting explanations for Sarah Palin, an on the street impromptu poll was conducted across multiple cities. In this poll, respondents were administered a series of questions to determine whether or not they believed Sarah Palin was real and why they don’t think she’s made up. 

The second and more exciting test of the third revolutionary MMET was to involve a machine that can transport myself and a small but agile research team in time and space to 2008 through the multiverse. If we find the real Sarah Palin, we’ll prove exactly what we knew was true from the beginning of this research project. The machine can be seen in figures 4 and 5.

Figure 4: TDTTDD Rear View
Figure 4: TDTTDD Rear View
Figure 5: TDTTDD Top View
Figure 5: TDTTDD Top View

Originally prototyped in [9], the Trans-Dimensional Time Travel Discovery Device (TDTTDD) allows a room of individuals to safely travel between worlds in the multiverse. As shown above, the power source of the TDTTDD is filtered through a Himalayan Salt lamp at an industry standard 120V. Once processed through a series of NVIDIA GPUs, the signal is then bounced between realms using a series of software defined radios (SDRs) through all visible spectrums no matter what spectrum you see in

Once the electromagnetic resonances of the SDRs have locked on to the target universe, the operator or pilot can control, the direction using an adapted playstation steering wheel, a left handed thruster for those far off worlds, and a right handed joystick to control attitude and missile deployment in case anything tries to come back with you. In the first stage of deployment, the thruster and the joystick must be switched because everything inorganic becomes a mirror image once the first interdimensional layer is breached as discovered in [10]. Guided by the system display, the TDTTDD can guide a room full of explorers into any universe. 

Once through the mirror realm, careful notes will be taken and images will be hand drawn by an unpaid Cranberry Lemon intern into charcoal sketches to fully document the journey because electronics do not survive the trip through the TDTTDD trans-dimensional travel. 

4. Results

As predicted by our expectations of the experiment, we weren’t just mis-remembering something. The results from the in the street polls were largely mixed or inconclusive; however, after an exciting and fantastical journey through the multiverse with the TDTTDD, the real Sarah Palin was found, and she did not disappoint. 

4.1 Street Poll Results

In terms of poll results, there was some evidence that many who were polled were misremembering. While over 90% of people kept walking past our booth, those who stopped when they found out we weren’t asking for money or thought we were handing out free Covid tests sincerely answered our questions. The results did confirm [1]’s findings that more than 92% of adult Americans believe that Sarah Palin was a real person. When determining the truth source of why they believed that Sarah Palin was real, many began to describe vague recollections of where they were and what they were doing during the 2008 presidential election. A few even accessed their own phones to look up the politician only to find video after video of Tina Fey SNL performances and “I can see Russia from my House” memes. 

When pushed for more information, most respondents only started doubling down on their own belief that Sarah Palin was real, a pattern all too common in confabulation cases. This was seen in 30% of respondents who became more aggressively defensive when we told them they were living in a dream world. Likewise, those who did not become too emotional began to remember more as we described Palin’s general character as they recalled something similar to Sarah Palin but could not put a finger on their Verbatim memory of the politician. These 45% of respondents could only remember the Tina Fey portrayal of the fictional character and no actual policy position of the very real Jordan Dorf, the actual John McCain running mate. These poll results only concluded that the polls were rigged from the first place by the elite liberal media and that we would have to find the real Sarah Palin for ourselves.  

4.2 Sarah Palin is Real in an Alternative Universe

The entire journey through the multiverse from our universe to the Sarah Pailin universe is captured in full in appendix A. In brief, the journey from one 2008 election to another revealed that no matter what universe, there were always constants and variables. No matter which universe, there was always a progressive Democratic senator. There was always a recession. There was always a republican war hero, and there was always a fictional or real Maverick Sarah Palin. Across a million different worlds, the cultural Miloo was always the same. In some universes, the economic recession was caused by the subprime housing crisis. Some were caused by out of control speculative investing and others were caused by a large tech bubble originating from Pets.com never collapsing until it was the center of the economy. 

No matter the world explored, Sarah Palin and the looming limited government Tea party always appeared in some way to cause some conservative War Hero to lose to a Progressive Senator. After searching through dozens of doorways leading to other doorways, the multiverse doorway dimension Convention Floor with the help of a Caretaker led the research team to universe 17b-2 as noted by our mapping of the multiverse Las Vegas convention floor map detailed in Appendix A. 

There we met the real Sarah Palin. She was actually the governor of Alaska. She was incredibly pro oil drilling, anti-liberal elite, had an aggressive up-do and most importantly, she was a Maverick. Unexpectedly, the real Sarah Palin never did say “I can see Russia from my house” as predicted by our Tina Fey MMET Palin model, but she did have a similarly simplistic approach to foriegn policy.  

5. Conclusion

Sarah Palin does exist. She doesn’t just exist in the cultural Muleaux of our hearts but in reality to. She prospers in universe 17b-2 as a true to life rowdy conservative politician of waning influence. While it may be easy and convenient to explain away the existence of a Sarah Palin in our cultural Mewleau with SNL sketches, Confabulation theories, and Fuzzy Trace Theory explanations of false memories, we know for a fact that Sarah Palin does exist and is a force so powerful that you cannot get away from her no matter what universe you visit. 

6. Conflict of Interest

I’m creating a LoFi YouTube web series about the multiverse and am trying to drum up publicity for my fiction where Sarah Palin wins the white house in 2012 in an alternate reality after McCain steps down. In this exciting story in which warrior women are elevated to top positions in American society, renewable energy is outlawed, and the liberal elite media have been outlawed and replaced by Truth Tellers. The series follows an urban poet who just wants to write and create art. He rages against the machine because he doesn’t want to go Elk hunting in the Alaskan bush, which is compulsory now. The series is going to be picked up by Netflix if we get some more viewership. Please like and subscribe so I can quit my job at the combination KFC and Taco Bell. 

7. References

  1. DeWitt, B. 2019 A Meta Study of the Sarah Palin Mandela Effect :: Cranberry Lemon Journal of Paranormal Internet Studies
  2. Kliff, Sara. 2012 The Tina Fey Effect :: The Washington Post
  3. Costanza, G. 1994 Effective Lying Techniques for Career Advancement :: Queens College Journal 
  4. Love, T. 2019 Why my Boyfriend Chad keeps throwing XBox Controllers through the Drywall :: Self Published 
  5. Beaufords, G. 2018 Memory Replacement Techniques to Increase Friends Viewership :: Journal of Sitcomology 
  6. Hernandez, E. 2017 The Metaverse Explanation of the Mandela Effect :: Cranberry Lemon Journal of Paranormal Internet Studies 
  7. Yeltz, S. 2019 There’s a Perfectly Reasonable and Uninteresting Explanation for the Mandela Effect :: Journal of Boring and Unimaginative Psychology Research 
  8. DeWitt, B. 2019 The Metaverse Mandela Effect Theory; I swear that’s not how you spell Loony Toons :: Cranberry Lemon Journal of Paranormal Internet Studies 
  9. DeWitt, B. and Sanchez R. 2020 The Trans-Dimensional Time Travel Discovery Device; Novel Approaches to the Mirror Realm :: Cranberry Lemon Journal of Paranormal Internet Studies 
  10. DeWitt, B. and Sanchez R. 2021 Mirror Realm Effects on Organics and Inorganic Machinery  :: Cranberry Lemon Journal of Paranormal Internet Studies 

8. Appendix A: The Fantastical Journey to the Palin Universe

We all gathered that day. It was the 8th of January and my close friend and colleague Rick had just completed all of the necessary tests on the Trans-Dimensional Time Travel Discovery Device (TDTTDD) to ensure that we make it back to our own universe in one piece without contracting mirror blindness. I guess it would have been better to say we were close friends. Life gets in the way and we haven’t had the same nights Rick and myself used to enjoy back in college. So many coffee filled evenings trying to do homework only to end up debating philosophy or just talking about girls. 

I hopped into the pilot seat with my small research team Matthew and Rachel beside me within the trans-dimensional warp field range just inside the potent scent of the Himalayan Salt lamp. 

“Are you coming?” I asked Rick. 

“No Booker,” he replied emotionlessly. “I can’t get into stuff like this anymore, I’ve got kids to take care of.” 

“Is this not safe?” Matthew questioned furiously. 

“It’s safe, it’s just uh,” Rick paused in contemplation. “Well, nothing’s one hundred percent you see.” He ruffled out a crease on his oil stained grey lab coat and walked away from the machine and to a monitor to check on all our systems. “You are safe to commence.” He said with a salute. 

“Here goes nothin,” I assured Matthew and Rachel while gripping the throttle with my right hand. It felt strange starting off the journey in reverse. According to theory [9] when we pass through the mirror realm barrier, we’ll stay the same but everything will snap into a left-right mirror copy. Apparently the first pilots of the prototype TDTTDD nearly crashed on their way back when they found out too late to make the adjustment. I eased the throttle forward ever so gingerly and the lights around us began to flicker and then dim. 

Matthew was never impressed. If you didn’t notice the flashing lights and the hum from the meta-universe SDR transducers you would have figured he was waiting to be served at Arby’s. He was a true man of science, holding off all presuppositions until the data came in “…I wouldn’t speculate, not until the analysis is done.” He would always say.

Rachel, standing on my right, was all awe and wonder. It didn’t matter what she was studying or how much she already understood. She saw it all through the eyes of a child. “I can’t believe we’re finally going to meet Sarah!” she exclaimed. 

“I’ll believe it when I meet the Maverick herself,” Matt replied shortly.

“Quite!” I shouted at them. “Hold off until we’ve passed the danger!” 

Figure 6: Entrance through the Mirror Realm
Figure 6: Entrance through the Mirror Realm

The portal through the Mirror Realm was like nothing I had ever seen before. All light and shapes in all directions. then suddenly all black. I couldn’t see anything but I could taste something round to my left and I could smell something wet and musty to my right. Suddenly jagged edges of Green and yellow crashed against a sandstorm of emanating red smoke blasting me until the green and yellow grew sharper and sharper until the red smoke was all but a distant memory. 

Just when I thought I was looking at the round shapes to my left they were now on my right. I reached down for the throttle to find my attitude joystick to which I jostled to the left with a turn of my playstation wheel to narrowly avoid what I think was the 1730’s judging by a feeling that only made sense right then and there. I eased up some more on the throttle on my light. There they went. 

The 1750s. The 1790s. Napoleon, the Civil War, Teddy Roosevelt, WW2, Disco. Easing back on the throttle, I could see the Y2K crisis approaching. I maintained speed until it was time and eased into that wonderfully confusing year of 2008. We were there. The lights subsided and we looked around to confirm when we were with our TD clock units, but could not determine where we were. 

Before our very eyes was a long series of arched columns lining a wide street covered in humans such as ourselves milling about. Travelling in twos and threes in finely pressed suits, I believe they were humans of every race and color. The line of arches appeared to go on as far as I could make out. On the other side of the columns was just another hallway of columns just as long as the last. 

“What is this place?” Rachel asked. 

“It must be some kind of universe between the universes,”  Matthew replied. “Though we’ll have to investigate further to say for sure. Matthew began scribbling wildly down in his sketch pad. He was a curious sort always acting as an objective observer yet adding such personal touches to his scientific sketches. It would have been faster to bring a camera but they don’t really capture everything, or survive the jump through the mirror realm. 

I saw him putting the finishing touches on his sketches of the Mirror Realm Portal (Fig 6) and the Convention floor (Fig 7) and pushed the team along. “Lets try this way,” down the long hallway of portals and doors. 

“But to where?” Matthew asked. 

“I don’t know,” I thought, looking around. 

Figure 7: Convention Floor
Figure 7: Convention Floor

“Excuse me,” Rachel shouted out to a couple of strangers in a black pinstripe and a solid grey suit. “Do you know how we could get to a universe with the real Sarah Palin?” She asked the two pale men stopping them in their tracks. 

The two men conversed with each other in some alien dialect for a few moments. Coming to some conclusion, the one in the grey suit looked at Rachel with curiosity. “Is that English? I haven’t heard English in centuries. Which earth are you from?”

“It certainly is, and umm…” she thought. “I don’t know mine?” 

On the output screen of the TDTTDD display I quickly scanned until I found a designator. “I believe we are from earth 92h-4.” 

“Oh that makes much more sense,” the man replied. His friend grew impatient. “What is it you’re looking for? Is it your first time at the convention floor?” 

“Yes, that’s right. We’re looking for the universe with the real Sarah Palin.” I explained, “She should be oh so tall, large tall bun of hair, caked in makeup, says the phrase Maverick a lot, and was the governor of Alaska before becoming John McCain’s VP pick.” I detailed Sarah P. to strangers. 

The man in the pinstripes began inputting my description into an electronic pad about the size of half a sheet of paper attached to the inside of his jacket. He pulled out the device covered in lights and knobs to reveal a picture of Tina Fey.

“No no no,” the man in the grey suit interrupted his friend, “the real Sarah Palin, not her imitator.” 

“See, there’s no way she’s real,” Matthew muttered. 

“You know who she is!” Rachel exclaimed.

“Of course we do, it’s some of the funniest political commentary ever done,” the man replied. “I don’t know, in my home universe, we more of just have the general concept of Sarah Palin, she’s more of a, how do you say it, a cartoon, than a real person.” 

It was one of the worst things I possibly could have heard. Maybe Sarah Palin was a fictional politician in all universes. Maybe there really was no hope for our ambitious adventure. “There has to at least be some universe with a real Sarah Palin,” I asked. 

“Probably, I’ve seen just about everything,” the man replied. “I would find a caretaker and ask for guidance. Where’s your key?” 

“My what?”

“Your key, how did you get in here?” 

I pointed to the TDTTDD, “In my timeline, it’s the most advanced technology we have, the only way in and out of the here…uh…convention floor you called it?”

The man in the pinstripes laughed and quoted something in his alien dialect. “I can’t believe you came in that bucket of boltz, you’ll never get around the convention floor lugging that thing around. That’s older than my first birthmother. Here, it’s your lucky day cause I’ve got some spares and am feeling generous,” the other man handed myself, Rachel, and Matthew three metallic wristbands. “This key should let you go in and out of any of these portals, just remember where you came in, there’s only one way in and one way out. It’s easy to get lost if it’s your first time.” The pinstripe man grew more frustrated, “Okay fine, we have to go. But good luck.” They left along their own way. 

Now all we had to do was find a caretaker. At least we didn’t need to carry around that junky TDTTDD any more. I knew one thing, we weren’t going to find any caretakers just standing around. 

We all put on our keys, synced them up, set them to dark mode, dropped a pin at our original location to get back here and started walking. We might be able to get back with these keys but I’d never hear the end of it from Jack if I left his precious TDTTDD here at the convention. 

Figure 8: The Caretakers
Figure 8: The Caretakers

We must have walked for miles before we saw our first caretaker. An emanating finger shaped statue floating in a swirly mist of light and fire, you could see them coming a mile away, but they were oddly cold to the touch. “Hello,” I called out. Interrupted from cementing over cracks in an arch way with some sort of metallic looking goo. It appeared as though it was spreading a paste of glitter on the wall until it would solidify and turn into solid stone.

“Is that,” Matthew asked in disbelief at the sights he had never seen before. He began furiously sketching down the caretaker in his book (fig 8). 

Rachel, of course, was the first to run up the caretaker. “Help, we need to find someone!” she fearlessly conversed with the caretaker. 

FINDING WHO the caretaker replied in our tongue. It managed to stare not just Rachel but myself down with its powerful aura. I felt as though I were being observed by a pillar of stone. It had a millennia of memory. 

“Sarah Palin, the real Sarah, not just an imitation,” I said. 

SARAH PALIN THE GOVERNOR? SHE EXISTS IN UNIVERSE 17B-2. WOULD YOU LIKE DIRECTIONS OR A DIRECT CONNECTIONS? The monolith announced to us emotionlessly.

“Direct!” Rachel shouted. 

17B-2 CONFIRMED PREPARE FOR ARRIVAL

“What does direct mean?” Matthew looked up from his sketch pad.  

The walls around us began closing in as the floor and the ceiling began to spin in different directions. The caretaker grew brighter and brighter until there was nothing but caretakers surrounding us. Before I could ask what or why or where, the air was filled with a screeching silence of light. Was this what jack meant by mirror blindness!? Then Zap!

We were in a hotel room, the walls were lined with idle blue and gold McCain – Palin campaign posters. Lying gracefully on the bed and watching an episode of Iceroad truckers was her. It wasn’t a fake, it wasn’t an actor, it wasn’t a cartoon and it absolutely wasn’t freaking Tina Fey, it was the real Sarah Palin. 

Figure 9: Sarah Palin in Universe 17b-2
Figure 9: Sarah Palin in Universe 17b-2

“Oh, how do ya do fellas?” she said in her recognizable MidWestern accent. From the up-do, the accent, the guns casually lying on a table, and her perky smile, we knew she was the real deal and we were in her hotel room. Matthew quickly sketched her before we might have gotten directed back (Fig 9).  

“We just wanted to meet you, the real you,” I said.

“I can’t believe it’s you, The Real Sarah freakin Palin!” Rachel squealed.

“Oh you must be some big McCain supporters eh? Were gonna need that enthusiasm on election day, don’t you forget…one moment, you caught me with my Cariboobs out,” she reached for her bathrobe to cover up. 

“Is it true you can see Russia from your house?” Matthew asked.

“Ahhh…no,” Sarah replied curtly. 

“Wow, I have so many questions,” I stood dumbfounded. It was the real Sarah Palin and she was everything I had ever imagined her to be. 

“Well this was a lot of fun, but I think you’ll have to come back some other time when I’m not, oh, you know,” Sarah began dialling a phone beside her bed. “Yeah, uhh, I could use some help in my room…right now” she aggressively whispered. 

Moments later secret service men began barging into the hotel room. They were armed and raised what appeared to be tasers in our directions. I threw a shoe. Rachel began screaming, Matthew picked up a couch cushion as a shield and Sarah smiled in carnal delight as the suited men began shouting at us to get down. I dropped to the ground and scrambled at the interface of the key. “What was it, what was it,” I flipped along to find the right page on the key’s interface and hit a button. Any button! In the flash of a second we were all back at Rick’s place, the key worked. 

“Did you find her?” Rick asked, looking up from his monitor. 

“Oh we found her”

“Amazing, how’d you get back…Booker, where’s my TDTTDD?” That acronym was always a mouthful and I never cared for it.

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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