GME Galactic Federation Land Grab Foiled by Online Degenerates

The galactic federation is no stranger to conflict when it comes to satisfying/satiating their desires. They steal our cows, take our tendies while plundering our wallets of cash. They make a living on bending those to their will just to prop up the economy. So it should come as no surprise to learn that sometimes the empire fights back, just not in ways you’d expect.

The secret ties the Finnish have to the Galactic Federation (GF) have been well documented. The key source of this discovery can be attributed back to 2010 when a small band of handicapped retail traders created a subreddit community called Wallstreetbets. The purpose of this community was to use funds generated from high risk – high reward bets to tap the potential of basic man to create an army of financial astronauts. These astronauts would then preach their message to disciples and grow their tendie-bank. An incredible by-product of this cultured network was an intense collection of due diligence in the pursuit of undervalued opportunities.  

It was then no surprise when this group unearthed the relationship between Finnish Government and the Galactic Federation in 2018. The bombshell discovery launched the world’s media into a crazy ferver, as they learned that the duo planned to use NOK as the vessel to infiltrate/infect the earth with their superior communications technology. Most of us know this as a critical tenet of the Race to 5G world-wide. NOK is the prominent arm of the Finn’s who are pushing their “amazing” 5G Technology to be used for new 5G Tower development in the UK and Europe. 

However, JADBE anonymous sources have pointed out an even more diabolic component of the plans between the GF and the Finns. Most of the investment world became shockingly aware of these developments while watching shares of stock in Gamestop literally ride a rocket to the stratosphere, fueled on nothing but the common retail investor and encouraging tweets from billionaire supporters like Elon Musk and Chamath Palihapitiya. These Titans don’t have proven ties to the Galactic Federation, but they have realized the true power of what happens when you combine tin foil and weaponized autism.

Those boys on Wallstreetbets found out that the Finn’s poured cash into the American economy via stealthy stinky nasty hedge funds. These hedge funds were betting against common brick and mortar retailers, in an attempt to gain leverage over the company’s retail locations. The nefarious purpose behind the land grab was to help fuel NOK’s take over of America’s 5G Network Rollout. The presence of superior 5G technology would allow the Galactic Federation to exert quiet/potent frequencies which would give them control over the minds of millions in the 5G tower’s range. 

It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to explain why the Galactic Federation wants to control millions of earthlings. Their desire for prime USDA beef has grown into a zealous following amongst them. The only way they can satiate their hunger, and their true goal behind driving GME to a nothing-burger security, is by commandeering the nationwide brick and mortar locations of GameStop and turning them into secret high-rate anal probing facilities.

The Citron Research against wallstreetbets, tendies, 5G, and Galactic Federations.

After a shipment of titanium 5G equipment was intercepted in the loading dock of one mall game stop, these allegations began to gain steam in the public. Despite being under enormous pressure to some clean, the leaders of Citron Research only commented by denying the allegations of 5G anal probing in a tweet. They went on to put the blame on the redditors who just want their money back from trading in all their PS2 games in for Assassins Creed 2 and 20$ store credit in 2010.

Regardless of the public defense more signs of these frightening GameStop land grabs have been spreading across the country near dairy farms and meat processing facilities. The outcome of failure is grim. With these refurbished game retail facilities spread across the nation they will be able to get 5G directly into your home (if you know what I mean). If you look at map below its obvious this is their intent.

Humanities fate lies in the hands of a few million mentally handicapped memers and their $600 stimmy checks. Let us pray they return home from the moon with their tendies safely. Hold strong with your diamond hands you brave YOLO-investors.

Update 3:15pm EST: The Galactic Federation through their White House and Hedge fund contacts has forced a halt in trading of retail stocks in the US plummeting prices due to a decrease in trading volume.

Update 2 5:40pm EST: Bipartisan support for investigation into the stock market debacle has been seen between both Republican and Democratic support despite AOC nearly being murdered by the Republican Senator and Zodiac Killer Ted Cruz three weeks ago.

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