You chose the friendly hamster

“This un right here? Ya sure?” the store clerk asked.

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Great choice, this un’s real friendly don’t know how he hasn’t been adopted yet hee hee,” he reached into the glass cage and wrestled Dini 2.0 out of the cage. New Dini was real sweet and remained calm in the clerk’s hand. “Right here ya go,” the clerk put him in the box. “That’ll be $18”

You give the clerk the money and go on your merry way back to the apartment.

“Right Sarah, I’ve got a big surprise you’re not gonna believe—”

“I did it I did it I did it!” Sarah came jumping to the door.

“Did what?”

“I did it! The thing, I brought him back!”

You poke your head into the room to discover blood splattered all against the walls. The trashcan was overflowing with blood-stained paper towels and dead carcasses. Surrounding Sarah’s 3D printer, the walls were caked in absolute gore.

“It took me a while to get the paradoxical decomposition and rotations right, but I finally did it, it’s Dini! Back from the dead!”

There in the center of the gore was a sickly skinny version of Dini. His fur only covered parts of his body revealing a pale pink skin, the rest of his fur scattered everywhere across its cage. He wheezed and laid down barely alive.

What do you do?

Hide the new hamster, something messed up just happened.

Introduce the new hamster, maybe he’ll need the company?

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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