You analyze the data and find that there is no apparent correlation between listening to Ska-music and the Chimpanzee’s cognitive ability. You document your research and submit your findings in a succinct email to Dr. Smyth. Minutes later, a frustrated Dr. Smyth comes storming into your cubicle.
“What do you mean no correlation? That can’t be right, you probably did the analysis wrong. If I present a paper showing absolutely no correlation between my epic 80s-90s Ska-Punk playlist and increased cognitive ability, my research program is toast! Just Futz with the numbers. You have tons of meta data to work with. Just play around with it.”
B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.
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