The Great Rabbit War of 863AD: Myth or Historical Fact?

Dr. Garbeesha Plimps1, Hortense Saxifrage2 and Retired Col Wippo Truslebeam3

1 Department of Archaeology Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

2 Battle Field Archaeology, Rothenburg, Germany 

3 Medieval Weaponry Expert from “Past Weapons of Combat” failed history channel pilot episode replaced by more Pawn stars episodes


Direct evidence of the Cano-Lagomorphic Wars (or colloquially known as the “Great Rabbit Wars”) of 863-867AD has long eluded European archaeologists. With a treasure trove of literary evidence and the strong oral record from many southern German towns it is a mystery that there has been little found in the archaeological record. While some have claimed to have finally found battlefield evidence of the climactic battle of Boschdenbosch forest or the Siege of Berplesberg, these claims have been labeled as misattributed at best [1] and fabricated at worst [2]. A team of Cranberry-Lemon unpaid and self-funded interns has carefully excavated such evidence several miles North of the German town of Rothenburg. This paper will show that the written evidence creates a compelling argument for the true location of the famous battles based on some rusty artifacts we found at the sites we believe were likely used by the rabbit army to defeat the defending dog army in the fields of Trouchgordes and the Siege of Burplesberg. 

Keywords: Archaeology, Rabbit Combat, Cano-Lagomorphic Wars, Battlefield Reconstruction, Illuminated Manuscripts 

If you REEEEALY want to read the rest of this paper, for the equivalent price of a Chipotle Burrito, chips and Queso, you could buy our new book Et Al with over 20 hand picked Jabde articles for your reading pleasure, it’s the perfect Christmas/Birthday gift for confusing your unsuspecting family members! Order on amazon here: Please rate and review so that you can brag to your friends about having opinions or showcase your excellent taste in reading material!

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: